The Best Yom Kippur Ever

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Ari and I decided this should be the title of the blog because as this past weekend ended, we all had been having such a great time together that I had a difficult time saying goodbye as we all headed home, knowing that the High Holy Days are now over for this year. Ordinarily, Yom Kippur, which requires sitting in synagogue all day and fasting from sunset to sunset, is not a holiday which I happily anticipate.

On Selichot, as we usually do, we and our friend, Faith, had a late, delicious vegetarian Indian dinner at the Elkins Park branch of the restaurant we had already liked a few months ago, Tiffin. We arrived at MBI-EE just in time for the dessert buffet that preceded the Selichot services. Rabbi Addison had chosen the theme of memory for his sermons during the High Holy Days, since many of the members of our congregation have spent decades in the building from which we are preparing to move. Rabbi asked those in attendance to share their own poignant memories from the past, their first memory of being Jewish, and their most important memory of being Jewish. The personal stories that came forth from some of our congregation were unique and fascinating.

Rosh Hashanah fell on Thursday and Friday this year, the last few days of September. Ari came in from DC on Wednesday evening. The three of us attended services and as we arrived, the skies opened and it poured so hard that the parking lot became flooded. We sat in the car for about 15 minutes rather than have to walk through ankle-high water that flowed like a small creek. As the rain subsided, we were able to circumvent the large puddles. Saul gave the Israel Bonds speech this year. I think he did an amazing job, and the co-president, Lori, told him to save the speech because it was so successful financially that he will probably be using it again next year. Rabbi Addison’s sermon was a continuation on the theme of “memory” which began at Selichot services the previous Saturday night. He spoke about the nature of memory, both in terms of Talmudic views of the subject and clinical discoveries regarding memory in the last few years. He also spoke at length about his father, who passed away this past year, and about how his memories of his father have helped to shape his life and will continue to influence him ethically and morally into the future. He quoted from the White Queen in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass—“It’s a poor sort of memory that only works backward,” encouraging us to use our memories, both good and bad, to advance and expand our lives. After services, the sun had come out and the parking lot was almost dry as we exited. We drove directly to Cherry Hill to have lunch with the family, a cooler full of food in the trunk to supplement the abundance of food that Alex always prepares. Our family tradition on Rosh Hashanah is to begin with brachot (blessings) over dessert and schnapps, apples dipped in honey, and round challot. Highlights of our meal included zucchini bread, glazed salmon, farro with mushrooms, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, salad, and carrot cake. Alex’s mom had stayed over, and had attended services with Alex and Jess. After lunch, Saul and Ari went to visit their mother and grandmother, Sima, at Lion’s Gate. She seemed relatively comfortable and pain-free, despite the fractured femur and shoulder, ensconced in a rolling lounge chair designed so that it would be impossible for her to casually get up and fall again in her state of dementia.

On the second day of Rosh Hashanah, the congregation was again invited to share memories that had occurred within the building. Again, some very remarkable memories were shared. A 95-year-old member, who had raised her whole family in the 54-year-old congregation, was among the most memorable speakers. Beth joined us for services on the second day, and continued on with us to Cherry Hill for a light dairy lunch of leftovers, and Shabbat dinner. Larry joined us also. While Alex finished preparing dinner, Jess, Ari, Saul and I paid another visit to Lion’s Gate. We wheeled Sima into a more private space and had a pleasant conversation around her as she kept dozing off from the medication. Again, she appeared not to be in any pain and was pleasant and smiling while we were there.

Jess had paid an earlier visit to Simon’s, the kosher meat market which had always provided us all with great provisions in past years. There was an additional advantage. We are now close enough that Jess was able to meet Roxy and me for lunch at Wegman’s on her excursion. As a result of her trip to Simon’s, we had a Shabbat dinner that was heavily protein-laden, with duck, chicken, turkey, and beef stew as entrées. I made a pareve carob cake for dessert. On Sunday, Ari, Saul and I drove to Oaks to look at furniture. We scored big that afternoon, as Ari found six perfect dining room chairs to match his table on special, and Saul and I found a great sofa and chaise lounge for the sitting area of our bedroom, at a wonderful price also, at a store called Mahogany and More.

Saul and I got our flu shots courtesy of Chestnut Hill College on Wednesday, and had a nice buffet lunch together with some of the other faculty members in the school cafeteria. It was the most painless injection I have ever gotten, and luckily, neither of us had any real negative reaction. In the early evening, Saul met with the doctor who is performing his routine colonoscopy shortly. Afterward, we had dinner at Bonefish Grill. Listening to the radio on the way home, we learned that Steve Jobs had just died. Just as we were approaching home, the doctor’s office called to say that Saul had forgotten his driver’s license and insurance card and we had to return there to pick them up.

On Thursday, I worked most of the day on a publication that is becoming due as I had done the rest of the week, so it was mostly finished. When Saul came home from school, we went to look at granite counter tops with an eye to replacing our loosening Formica ones and perhaps, refacing our cabinets. Ken and Randi took us out for an exquisite dinner to belatedly celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary at an incredible little restaurant in Warminster that has to be one of the best kept secrets in the area. Off on a little side street in a residential neighborhood, Augusto’s has evidently been there for many years without our being aware of it. Foodies that we are, we were surprised that this gem has been completely under our radar. Ari arrived later in the evening and worked remotely the next day until it was time for an early dinner, and to shower and dress, before heading off to Kol Nidre services. We had butternut squash soup, seared tuna, homemade macaroni and cheese, creamed corn, and Ben and Jerry’s Clusterfluff (now tamely renamed “What a Cluster!” ice cream with triple ginger cookies for dessert. The services went so smoothly and quickly that, what usually feels interminable, was over before we knew it. The three-hour service had such a wonderful flow and pace that we were shocked when we found that we were at the end, much the way you feel when you exit from a long, but really interesting movie. What a unique synagogue experience!

The long service the next day was not quite as fleeting because of the onset of hunger pangs and sleepiness, but again, it was spiritually uplifting and we experienced a warm and welcoming feeling being surrounded by the congregation. We went home for a while after Yizkor to rest and pack up food to take to Jess and Alex’s to break the fast together. We met them at TBS for the end of the service and to hear the blasts of the shofar, which signal the end of the fast. We sat in the balcony with Elaine, Naomi, Matt and Talia as the lights were lowered and the children congregated at the bimah with their glowing, multi-colored light sticks. We were joined for breaking the fast by Alex’s new high school director and her partner. Saul and I were very happy to be surrounded by lots of friends and family. We have had some very somber and lonely break fasts in recent years because Baltimore was too far away  to allow us to join the rest of the family. For breaking the fast, we had lox and bagels, whitefish salad, pickled herring, cream cheese, assorted sliced cheeses and gourmet cheeses, sliced tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, avocados and onions, olives, artisan breads, fruit juices, coffee and tea, assorted ice cream and homemade rice pudding with whipped cream, carob cake, etc., etc.

Sunday afternoon, we did a reprise of a previous enjoyable Sunday at Chez Elena Wu. Alex joined us, and we again sat at a large, lazy-susan table and had bento box lunches of sushi, sashimi, miso soup, veggie dumplings, tempura, and ginger-dressed salad. The service was as cordial as the last time. Saul had been fighting a cold for several days, and we decided not to visit his mother and risk spreading it. In the early evening, we all went to a sukkah-decorating program and pizza dinner at TBS that Alex had sponsored. Jessica had spent a few days drawing outlines on the outside walls of the synagogue where the sukkah was to be erected. Part of the decorating involved painting in the designs, and we all had such fun doing it, including Ari and particularly Yona. As the sun began to set, and I kissed and hugged Ari as he set off for DC, I realized how sad I was to be saying goodbye to all the togetherness, good karma and fun engendered by this holiday season. Ari was sad to be leaving also, and he agreed that it was the best Yom Kippur ever.

The End of September, Not So Good Again

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Each year, as the High Holy Days approach, our tradition requires that we do some serious soul-searching so that we may soberly reflect on culpable behavior, repent for our mistakes, and try to do better in the coming year. Rosh Hashanah, which begins this evening, represents the hope that the new year will bring all good things to us and our loved ones. The metaphor is that God’s book is opened and we pray that we will be inscribed for life. Yom Kippur represents the sealing of the book, with our future year, for good or bad, about to unfold. Before I began writing this, I looked over last year’s September entry. I had all but blocked out my memories of the High Holy Days last year because of the trauma we all felt dealing with Maury’s death.

Although the holidays are mostly a pleasant time spent enjoying special meals with friends and family, ours have certainly had their share of trauma at this time of the year. I think it began many years ago when Uncle Ed died suddenly in the hospital of an aneurysm following surgery after being struck in the head accidentally by falling debris while doing repairs around the house. Because of a family split, my mother had not spoken to her brother for several years. When she received a Rosh Hashanah card with a personal note asking for forgiveness, she and I immediately went to visit him in the hospital and they made their peace, unbeknownst to any of us, only a few days before his sudden death. We attended his funeral right after Yom Kippur. Saul’s father was rushed to the hospital hours before Kol Nidre many years ago, and Saul spent that evening at his bedside. He required a second round of bypass surgery after that. My mother signed herself onto hospice just a few years ago just as the holidays were approaching. She died late in August the following year. Larry’s parents both died at this time of the year, a year apart. Perhaps it is merely coincidence, because we know so many people, or perhaps it is the serious way in which our tradition at this time of year asks us to contemplate our mortality, but I have begun to feel a certain amount of trepidation as the holidays approach. It is remarkable, also, that as part of our tradition, a person’s death during this season is taken as a sign that he or she were notable among the righteous, and so, perhaps, we walked among angels.

A few days ago, we received a call from Saul’s brother-in-law, Paul, that he had received a call from Lion’s Gate at 4:00 in the morning that Saul’s mother had fallen and that she had fractured her femur and collarbone. He told us that the leg fracture was not bad and that nothing much needed to be done about it except to give her pain medication to keep her comfortable. Collarbones heal on their own. The next day, we had a conference call from his sister, Rif, who had accompanied a friend returning her car down to Florida, and Paul. Evidently, their mother was taken to the hospital and had remained there. Her surgeon was pushing for her to have surgery and gave Paul the impression that it was very serious and that the surgery should be performed despite her advanced dementia. He went to see her in the hospital and found her happily finishing a hearty lunch, moving about in bed freely and not in any apparent pain. Thus began the tearful, hour-long discussion of what to do in this difficult situation. Putting her through the expensive surgery would surely cause more pain and she would not exactly be the ideal candidate for rehab, not to mention that she would forget from moment to moment that she could not just get up and walk away. After a long discussion, Saul and his sister agreed that she should be sent back to Lion’s Gate in the hospice program, so that she would be able to have access to any pain medication she needed to keep her comfortable. Jessica went to visit her the next morning in the hospital and also found her healthy-looking, cheerful, moving about freely in bed, and with a good appetite. She was on pain medication and was feeling okay. Jessica also learned that she had broken her shoulder, not just her collarbone, but the doctor was not recommending surgery for that. The next morning, while the nurse was away from her station, Sima got out of bed and fell again. They did a c.t. scan because she couldn’t tell them her name or what year it is and they did not seem to be aware of the advanced dementia when Paul spoke with them. Luckily, she did not do any further damage. Today, she is back at Lion’s Gate in the hospice wing with an “elixir” of pain medication. Tomorrow, after services and lunch, we will go and visit her there. We sincerely hope we made the right decision, but there is no way of knowing. Before her mind disappeared, she told all of us that she did not want to ever suffer if given the choice. She had seen way too much suffering all her life, especially as an inmate of Auschwitz as a teenager. We hope that this is the decision that will cause her the least amount of suffering and that somehow, the bones will heal themselves in time, or that she will just die a peaceful, medicated death in bed in a place that really has cared for her very well over these last several years.

Like Alex cooking soup last year to deal with the death of his father, I have been busy in the kitchen, compounded by the fact that my freezer needed to be emptied for 24 hours. My Sub-Zero freezer had created huge chunks of ice at the bottom so that my drawers were frozen to the bottom and could not be opened. I spent an afternoon with a hair dryer, and Saul turned off the water to the ice-maker. Since the home warranty we have doesn’t cover ice-makers, we called in the people who had replaced the ice-maker a couple of years ago, First Rate Appliance. They sent a man who told us that there was nothing wrong with the ice-maker and that we needed three parts replaced, the thermostat, and two different types of drain heaters to the tune of $429.30. I gave them a check (big mistake) for $150.00 as a deposit. But then, we realized that we might be covered since it was not the ice-maker, and we called the home warranty people back. They agreed to cover the repair. The new company, that the home warranty company sent, Home Zone, checked it out and told us those parts were not necessary. According to their instructions, I turned the freezer off for 24 hours, sending Beth whatever would fit into her freezer. The man came back and fixed my freezer as he said he would the next day. Now, I will have to try to recover my $150 from the rip-off company.

I made a bunch of dishes to use up defrosted items like phyllo, puff pastry and frozen strawberries that didn’t fit in Beth’s freezer. Some will soon be appearing on my recipe blog. Last weekend, Saul took the fruit down from our two quince trees and I spent the afternoon cleaning and slicing the sink-full of ripe fruit and turning the results into jars of natural ruby red slices packed in light, vanilla-scented syrup. Some of this, in turn, was made into a strawberry, quince, and dried cherry strudel for us to enjoy during the holidays. We also found the time to turn a small sheet of thin copper that we ordered over the net into a copper roof for a bay area of the dollhouse. It looks amazing! I have found that, besides cooking, for some reason, staring at the progress of the dollhouse when I am stressed is a useful way to make me feel relaxed. Perhaps it is the eternal nature of a dollhouse. They get passed down through the generations and allow grown-ups, as well as children, to escape reality into a fantasy world of their own creation.

May all of us be inscribed in the book of life this year so that, come next September, I can write a happier and thankful blog post.

We Launch Into Our New Lives

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We have been driving back and forth from Philadelphia to Baltimore for almost eight years and I thought it funny recently when I spoke to Saul about having lunch at Thai Orchid (which used to be on our way to visit the kids in Baltimore) on our way to see them. The restaurant is not on our way to Cherry Hill. I haven’t quite gotten used to the mindset that they are an hour and a half closer now and a lot more accessible.

We have had some really good times despite the melancholy that reigns sometimes after the girls go home after “Camp Bubbie and Saba.” Saul and I console ourselves with the privileges of empty-nesters, which is to say that we are able to just pick up and go anywhere whenever the impulse strikes and we don’t have other commitments. For the last few weeks, we have had relaxing, last-minute, dinners in restaurants that we like, reveling in our ability to have an uninterrupted adult conversation.

Our 40th wedding anniversary, which occurred at Labor Day Weekend, was a total washout because of my high fever caused by cellulitis. After spending Friday morning at the doctor, and the afternoon at the dentist to see if I had a gum infection, I spent the rest of the day in bed while Saul ate leftovers for Shabbat dinner. I spent Saturday afternoon in the emergency room of Lansdale Abington Hospital, afraid that the rash on my left ankle was due to a reaction to the antibiotic the doctor had prescribed for the fever, Clindamycin. Saul spent much of the time catching up with paperwork and prep for school that had been put off during the summer.

Jess, Alex, Elaine, Saul and I had a conference call with Sami when she returned from her first day at middle school and she absolutely loved it. One of her teachers turned out to be Alex’s camp counselor and was well known to our family as well. Jess and Alex (Ari, Aaron and Naomi, too) went to the same overnight camp as children, but didn’t really know each other then. Sami made two new friends and had lunch with them and was very happy. The next day, when she went to the teacher to explain who her parents were, after school, she missed the school bus as he enthusiastically hugged her and told her she looked just like her mother. Jess had to pick her up. Izzy was equally happy about her new school and friends. Yona had a few days before beginning her new day care.

The following weekend was such a wonderful, impulsive, and enjoyable one that we have been pleading with Jess and Ari to institutionalize it so that we can do it once a month from now on. Saul had to be present for Team Children in the morning. I was speaking to Ari on the phone while Saul was there, and we decided that it was such a beautiful day for a drive that we would meet on the Eastern Shore at Harris’s for a leisurely late lunch by the waterside. Then, we spent the evening browsing in the Queenstown Outlet Shopping Center, where I found some great buys on outfits that I love for the holidays. By 11 p.m., we arrived at Jess and Alex’s house and visited with them for an hour. We left Ari’s car in NJ and he drove us home in our car. We were in bed by 1 a.m. In the morning, we spent a little time schmoozing, a little time shopping, and then we drove back to NJ to meet Jess and the girls for lunch. We had intended to have lunch at the Afghan restaurant that we had enjoyed a few weeks ago, Ariana, but when we arrived, we found that it is only open for dinner on Sunday. That particular strip mall had a number of other ethnic restaurants from which to choose—Indian, Mexican, and Chinese, as well as a coffee shop and pizzeria. We chose the Chinese because, as usual, the girls wanted sushi, which was available there. The restaurant Chez Elena Wu, was a great and pleasant surprise for us. We weren’t expecting much, given the impromptu nature of our visit, but we loved it so much we can’t wait to return. We all had bento box lunches. The menu provided for a wide range of choices of soups and entrées and everything was delicious. The miso soup was exceptional, as were very delicate and flavorful vegetable dumplings, and the best ginger salad dressing on the crisp salad that I have ever had. The fresh and expertly made sushi was prepared by a sushi chef as the girls watched. Even the tea was a cut above the usual with a nice smoky oolong flavor. The tempura veggies were light, crispy, and ungreasy, as they should be. The glazed salmon was a hit, too. Also included in the bento box lunch was a California roll, which was the usual, and a big scoop of good steamed white rice. Everyone loved their lunches and we ate everything. We had the whole, nicely-appointed and exceptionally clean restaurant practically to ourselves, a boon with small children. The seven of us sat at a lazy susan table, which was very convenient. Our waiter was also unfailingly attentive, and polite, and was very understanding of our requests.

After lunch, Jess took the girls shopping for a cell phone for Izzy. Saul, Ari and I visited Saul’s mother at Lion’s Gate, which is across the street. Saul has been very antsy about going there. We were supposed to visit the previous Friday when I got sick. His mother no longer recognizes any of us, probably doesn’t know who she is anymore, and doesn’t remember that we have been there five minutes after we leave. While she is always smiling and content when we visit, it is a shock to see her this way, and it leaves Saul, especially, disconcerted and sleepless for a few days. We had not been to see her for several months, and Saul was worried that perhaps she was suffering and we would not know. The visit this time put that fear temporarily to rest, at least. She was pretty much the same as the last time. We went to her room and found that she had many baby dolls, both boys and girls reposing there. She had been carrying a boy doll when we arrived and added a girl when we visited her room. When we left, she was positioning the two dolls on the chairs where we always find her when we visit. Other residents were playing bingo with a staff member when we left.

We parted after a rendezvous and brief visit back at the house in NJ. Ari drove back to DC over a much more pleasant and shorter route than when he comes to visit us, and we drove home, stopping for a brief shopping foray at IKEA in Plymouth Meeting.

Wednesday, we met Ken and Randi for dinner at Bonefish Grill. On Thursday, Jess asked us to meet the girls’ school buses and pick up Yona from day care and some time in Alex’s office. She left early in the morning to spent the day working at her job at Pearlstone Center in Baltimore, and Alex had tons of work preparing for the beginning of the school year. I drove to CHC and met Saul after school and meetings and we drove over to NJ together to meet the girls. There was a special program from Izzy’s school at Springdale Farms. Jessica told us it was a harvest festival. I took a Zyrtec when I discovered from the flyer that it involved a hayride (hay fever :P), corn maze, and cider with warm donuts. Just as we arrived with the three girls, the outdoor temperature dropped suddenly about 20 to 30 degrees and a gale-force wind began to blow, followed a few minutes later by heavy rain. As Alex arrived to meet us with jackets, we had just enough time to finish our donuts and cider and go home. Izzy was very disappointed. Alex made the girls dinner as Saul and I headed for a dinner on the road and then home. On the way back, I snapped a photo of the most beautiful sunset I have every seen in my life as we headed over the Ben Franklin Bridge into Philadelphia. The photo, which I took as an afterthought from the car window, a little too late, doesn’t begin to do it justice.

My brother was hospitalized on Thursday when, during a routine checkup, he complained of pains in his leg and it was discovered that he had a large dvt (deep vein thrombosis) at the top of his right leg and two smaller clots in his lungs. My dvt ten years ago was in exactly the same place. He was released on Saturday morning, once his blood had been thinned enough to a safe level.

Friday, I had a doctor’s appointment for my yearly checkup. Before we left, I poached pears and made the dough for the first of the year’s round challot. On the way back from the doctor, Saul and I stopped at CHC to pick up my car from the day before, at Impact! to drop off a bag of unwanted clothing, at Babies R Us to pick up a gift for Jamie’s “sprinkle” on Sunday, and at Trader Joe’s to pick up some odds and ends, and then went home to finish preparing dinner. We were joined at Shabbat dinner by Larry, Faith and Beth. Dinner was homemade challah, homemade guacamole with multi-grain chips, beet borsht with warm boiled potatoes and sour cream, seared sesame tuna, homemade potato salad, buttered steamed asparagus, and a warm, sautéed pear dessert.

On Saturday, we went to synagogue. The day marked the end of the shloshim (30 day mourning period) for the father of our baal korei, (Torah reader) David, and his sister, Atarah. It was, coincidentally, the end of the shloshim for Atarah’s husband, Ira, who had lost his mother. We attended a Shabbat luncheon, sponsored by the bereaved, at which David delivered a shiyur (study session) in memory of his father.

Sunday morning was Jamie’s surprise “sprinkle” or little baby shower. She had been in a minor car accident earlier in the week in a loaner car while hers was in the shop, and had been hospitalized overnight as a precaution because her air bag had deployed. Randi and Haley managed to pull it all together for the party. Jamie had begun having some contractions the night before, but got through the party okay. Ken, Andy and Saul (who was kind enough to drive Adele, Beth, Erica and me to the party in Delaware) hung out at a sports bar for a while during the party. Ken was feeling a bit under the weather, too, but managed to get through everything okay. On the way back, we stopped at the tax-free Costco in Delaware to pick up a few items.

Jess and Alex’s devastated house has begun to come together nicely. The outside pipe was repaired this week, and her powder room and foyer are just about complete. The replacement flooring is curing at her house, ready to be installed in a few days. The girls each have their own rooms which they are settling into nicely, and a playroom where they spend most of their free time. It was a blessing that they all had great experiences with school from the beginning. Ari is becoming more comfortable with his new job and is settling into that new routine. Neri has begun his military service. Saul’s new school year got off to a shaky start with lots of cancellations for flooding, but now is kicking into high gear. Our paths and patterns have changed, hopefully for the better, in a way that will bring us all closer together.

My Attempt to Catch Up with the Last Three Months of My Life

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This is the longest period of time I have gone in several years without writing a blog post. My life has been so full and hectic that my journal has gotten away from me, and I have missed writing it and feel like a delectable portion of my life has somehow escaped, although heaven knows I have really enjoyed almost every moment of it. I had started writing a post the day after Neri’s graduation from AHA, but never finished, so I have included that part and continued on with what I can remember from there…

Since my last blog post, I attended the end-of-year party for Faith’s class at the lovely home of longtime class member, Ellen. Ellen’s kitchen has just been refurbished and was done beautifully. About 20 class members attended, bringing a delicious and varied assortment of potluck dishes—everything from salads to desserts. With her usual aplomb and literacy, Faith took us through some of the intricacies of life during the period of the Jewish expulsion from Spain. We spent some time discussing the life of Hannah Mendez, a fascinating and powerful woman of that time. Years ago, I read the Naomi Ragen book, The Ghost of Hannah Mendez, which is an exciting fictionalization of her life. I adored the novel! Saul arrived home late from his first day of teaching summer session at CHC, and we headed out to visit our friends, Ruth and Giora, in their new home in New Jersey. Because we got off to such a late start, we encountered a tremendous amount of traffic during rush hour. Finally arriving, we were delighted to find them very well settled into their magnificent and spacious new place. They had finally sold their previous home in a 55-and-older community which had strangled them with restrictive policies and invasive regulations. We discussed our lives, children, and plans for a satisfying retirement and fulfilling old age (we hope!).

My son Ari’s “little brother,” who was three years old when Ari was a high school junior at American Kibbutz High School in Israel, graduated from high school, after a year on a basketball scholarship, in Greensboro, North Carolina, from the American Hebrew Academy (AHA). Needless to say, we racked up even more miles attending the ceremonies. Neri’s mom, Efrat, had come to the U.S. a week early so that she could tour for a while. Saul, Ari, and I picked her up at Newark Airport on Sunday, May 22, and she stayed with us for a week while Ari returned to DC, and Saul taught summer session. Her English was quite good and we managed to communicate, with the addition of me throwing in a lot of my Hebrew nouns. I know the names for lots of things, but can’t speak a word because of my lack of ability to use verbs. I had lots of computer publishing work to do at the time, so during the mornings she took long walks around the neighborhood, learned about the working farm museum (Roth Farm) across the street, and met the farmer and his wife. In the afternoons, when Saul was finished, we visited shopping malls, toured downtown Philadelphia, including Chinatown, visiting The Franklin Institute and the Philadelphia Zoo. We took her to our favorite, kosher, vegetarian, dim sum restaurant in Chinatown, Singapore, where the Chinese proprietor, Peter, whom we have known since he opened his doors 25 years ago, greeted her with a “Shalom,” and surprised her with his knowledge of Judaism and Israel. Although the kibbutz where she resides is totally secular, she eschews pork and seafood products and was disgusted by the idea of a Philly cheesesteak. She was very conservative about trying new foods here. She seemed very interested in suburban landscaping, habits and lifestyle, which are very different and very isolating compared to the social nature of life on the kibbutz, even a kibbutz which is no longer officially a kibbutz and has lost many of the communal habits of the past. We had a great time together, and, because of her questions, I did quite a bit of soul-searching about aspects of my life that I just take for granted.

Neri’s graduation was quite an experience! We drove with Efrat down to DC on Friday after Saul’s last summer school class, (Efrat and I waited for Saul in his office at school and toured the college a bit), rendezvoused at Jess and and Alex’s in Baltimore for Shabbat dinner, and stayed with Ari for two nights, touring DC, before driving to Greensboro, NC, on Sunday for the graduation on Memorial Day. We arrived early in the afternoon on Sunday and were absolutely amazed by the beauty of the campus, which was designed by architect Aaron Green, who was hired to create the campus using organic architecture, a design philosophy conceived by Frank Lloyd Wright in which local building materials are used, and buildings are integrated into, and become part of, the natural landscape. We were impressed by the quality of the faculty and students that we met, and were hosted for hors d’oeuvres in the beautiful, on-campus, home of one of the Israeli faculty members’ family before the awards presentations the evening before graduation. After the awards, we dropped off Efrat and Neri at a nearby country club for an evening of festivities with the graduating class families and retrieved them later in the evening, after we had dinner together at a nearby barbecue restaurant, Smoky Bones, returning to our hotel rooms with Efrat and Neri. We attended graduation the next morning after breakfast at the hotel, checked out, and had lunch in the school cafeteria. After that, we jammed everything that Neri had accumulated during his year in the U.S. into the back of the SUV and began the long 5-hour drive back to DC. We stopped along the way to have dinner at a Cheesecake Factory in Fair Oaks, VA. The next day, Saul and I drove home, while Neri and Efrat spent the following 10 days with Ari in DC until it was time for them to return to Israel.

We met on the morning of Friday, June 10, at the house on Imperial Drive in Cherry Hill that Jess and Alex were supposed to be buying and moving into immediately. What happened that day fatefully impacted the rest of the summer and ultimately our lives. It was like a family reunion that day. Present for the home inspection were Saul and I with the three girls, Jess and Alex, Alex’s mom Elaine, Efrat, Neri, and Rochelle, the real estate agent. We were all excited about the house and the ease with which everything had finally fallen into place. After the inspector left, all of us had a wonderful Shabbat dinner at Elaine’s in Cranberry, NJ. Ari returned to DC and Efrat and Neri returned home with us so that we could drive them to Newark airport for their flight home to Israel that Sunday. Neri was due to start his mandatory three-year service in the army a month later. When we returned from the airport, Jess arrived with the three girls and their summer wardrobe to begin “Camp Bubbie and Saba.”

Camp Bubbie and Saba began early this year, on June 12, and ended late, on Thursday, September 1, when Jess arrived for lunch with Elaine, Alex’s mom, and helped to finish packing up all their stuff from the summer. An hour after they all left, I came down with 103° fever which eventually turned out to be from cellulitis caused by a mosquito bite on my foot that I received on our last evening together. Sami had asked if we could go to Owowcow for ice cream. She had gone there earlier with us and Ken and Randi without her sisters, who had gone home for a few days. We had delectable ice cream sitting outside in the dark, in the country, at picnic tables. I am just now recovering from the ordeal, but the memorable evening was worth it.

This was Yona’s first year of camp with us, and we were a bit limited in our activities by the lack of attention span of a two-year old and her tendency to have monumental temper tantrums. When she was good, though, she was very, very, good and it was a source of delight and wonderment in watching her encounter new experiences for the first time. The weather was iffy the first few days and we launched the summer with an exciting visit to the Crayola Factory and lunch outdoors at a café down the street, which left us and the girls in a great anticipatory state of mind for the rest of the summer.

We were to have three full weeks before our family vacation in Orlando began. During that time, we spent many days at Beachcomber’s Swim Club, visited The Franklin Institute, baked and cooked together on rainy days, worked on the beautiful dollhouse that was given to us by our friend, Natalie, and often visited the big castle playground where Yona could sit on the swings for hours. Just by chance, we were lucky enough to be there on the one day each summer when the fire department shows up for an hour or two to create a giant, moving, arc of water for the summer day camp kids to play and cool off under. We all got soaked, gladly, on a scorchingly hot and humid summer morning, and followed that with water ice at Rita’s.

Two major problems colored our summer darkly this year. The home inspector discovered, on June 10, that the beams underneath the house on Imperial were rotted and that the all-brick house would have to be jacked up and the beams replaced. Beth, our extremely competent family engineer, strongly advised against getting involved in this procedure, pointing out all the things that could go wrong. Thankfully, we had retained a wonderful real estate lawyer, recommended by our cousin, Anne, who helped us out of the deal and was a blessing when it came to dealing with all the complications that followed as Jess searched to find another satisfactory home. It was crucial to Jess that they be moved in somewhere in Cherry Hill in time for Alex to begin his new job on August 1, and for the girls to be registered to start school in September at the schools they would actually be attending permanently. Considering the housing situation right now, that would have seemed to be a snap, but as it turned out, became quite complicated. One house that they wanted had a tenant who could not move out in time, one that seemed to be available in time turned out not to be and the owners would not negotiate on their high price, one on which they put a deposit, turned out to have been sold the day before, unbeknownst to the realtor, one that was just about to go on the market needed too much work. With each passing encounter, hope diminished and time seemed to be running out. In the midst of all this, we began a two-week Orlando vacation. Jess found the house they wanted days before we left. Rushing through everything, we were assured that all our paperwork was in order before we embarked on our long drive. As it turned out, each day of our vacation was spent scrambling to provide some other piece of paper that the mortgage company suddenly decided was necessary. Thank God for email and pdfs! We did not find out for sure that the mortgage was approved until the day before we were to return home.

We had an incredible vacation in Florida. We stayed in the house next door to the one in which we had been staying two years ago when we had to cut our vacation short to rush back to Mom’s bedside as she began “actively” dying. It backed up to the edge of Summer Bay’s lake and so provided great privacy and beautiful sunset views as we used our in-house pool. The weather was mostly sunny for the whole two weeks, and we were lucky enough to have a few days where the temperatures were high eighties and low nineties as opposed to the usual high nineties. The girls, as last time, reveled in the craft programs at the clubhouse down the street. The huge wading birds that we fed last time were still in evidence and Sami would look for them every day and rush out to feed them bread crumbs. We found some great restaurants and had delicious and unique breakfasts at First Watch, and a variety of dinners at seafood, Mexican, Japanese, Chinese and Thai restaurants. We also discovered a chain called Sweet Tomatoes that was perfect for our family, and was only a 15-minute drive from our house. It was a buffet with incredibly fresh and organic local produce and salads, house-made soups (at least two of which were vegetarian), specialties and baked goods, including gooey brownies that were to die for and real ice cream (not the cheap soft serve), all for an incredibly cheap fixed price. We happened upon it when Anne flew down for a few days to join her son Max and his friends for the final space shuttle launch at Cape Canaveral. They had won tickets in a lottery. We all met there and gorged until we couldn’t move. The servers there couldn’t have been nicer, as well.

We bought three days worth of tickets to Disney World and saved money by not buying park-hoppers this time. Each day, we visited a different park, but did not go to Animal Kingdom as we had been there many times before. We first went to the Hollywood Studios park because it is the least-crowded of them all. This time, we avoided the parks on July 4, and were glad that we did. Our wait times were not terrible and we were able to see all the major attractions before we were too hot and tired and needed to return home. On the day we went to Epcot, the weather was temperate enough, and we found enough places to rest and rejuvenate that we were able to spend the entire day there without returning home. We had a nice, sit-down dinner by the lake at an outdoor table in a British-themed restaurant as the sun set and the fireworks began. We visited areas of The Magic Kingdom where we had not ventured before, catching some new shows as well as a retro one in a revolving theater that has not changed since I saw it at the New York World’s Fair back in 1964. Everywhere we went, Izzy was in her glory because she was finally tall enough for all the wild rides. Sami, who was fearful at first, began to enjoy some of the wilder rides, too. I was mortified when I dropped my new sunglasses as I got into one of the cars on one of the most popular new rides with a long, long line. They fell in such a way that they jammed, upright, in a tiny crack between the moving sidewalk sections. The ride was shut down for a few minutes while a mechanic was consulted about whether it was safe to continue operating. They decided it was safe and left the sunglasses there because the mechanic could not figure out how to extract them and needed to wait until closing before trying to figure out how to remove them without damaging the machinery. I hope it wasn’t as bad a problem as it looked to be at the time.  Although I was practically tearful in my apologies, and I know I caused great difficulty, the people managing the ride were as pleasant and cheerful as could be and were apologizing to me for not being able to retrieve my sunglasses. On our day at The Magic Kingdom, we went home in the afternoon for a brief nap, and returned in the evening for additional rides, a light dinner and fireworks.

The three days at Disney in the heat were enough for Saul, me and Alex. Jess and Ari spent a day at Universal Studios, especially to check out the new Harry Potter park. They loved it. Saul and I took the older girls to the splash park at Summer Bay a few afternoons when they grew bored with our own little pool. Summer Bay also had a great July 4 fireworks display, which we could see close up by just walking to the end of our street. By taking a wrong turn one evening, on our way back from a restaurant, we discovered a Disney employee parking lot where we could just pull into the back, find a good spot, and watch the fireworks from The Magic Kingdom whenever we felt like taking a short drive. A few times, Saul, Ari and I went prowling for real estate nearby. Hearing the statistics about the number of foreclosures in Florida cannot begin to approach the dismal reality of driving through certain developments there. There are incredible bargains to be had, but it is difficult to know which newly-built developments will become tomorrow’s slums. We had a great time in Orlando, and we hope someday to be able to take family vacations that way on a regular basis.

The other problem that clouded our summer was our air conditioning at home. Two weeks before we left for vacation, our top-of-the-line, four-year-old system ceased to work. We paid over $9,000.00 for the system and it has never worked properly from the first day. We won a lawsuit in small claims court this year against the original installer, J.A. Smith, but had to drop it when we discovered that we could not answer an appeal ourselves without a lawyer. We hired a lawyer and paid him $600 to answer the appeal, but then dropped everything when it appeared that the lawyer’s fees would run more than the $3,100.00 we had been awarded by the court. Our trusty people at Renaissance kept putting us off. Josh had broken his hand and had more work than he could handle. I told them that if the system was not fixed by the time we returned from vacation, I would be going elsewhere. We also called customer service every day for a week at Lennox, who made the system, and emailed them. They finally returned our call when we threatened to get a lemon lawyer to represent us. (The lemon lawyer, btw, would not touch a case for something so small as a $9,000.00 HVAC system.) Lennox finally sent three engineers, who spent three hours evaluating the system to figure out what was wrong with it, but refused to speak with Josh at Renaissance because he was not a licensed dealer. Then they sent a report, which arrived late, after we had already left on vacation, saying that the system had been installed improperly, could be fixed, and that they would not honor the ten-year warranty because of the improper installation. They supposedly listed everything that needed to be fixed. We returned home from vacation to some of the hottest weather this area has ever seen—over 100 degrees for over a week and in the nineties at night. We had air conditioning from our other 18-year-old system, in our bedrooms at night, but staying in the rest of the house was unbearable, and it was even too hot to go to the swim club. Josh did not get the system fixed in time, and we contacted our home warranty company about the problem. The home warranty company sent, at our request, a Lennox-certified dealer to look at the system (Alpha Mechanics). When he was done, I had little confidence that the problem would be fixed in any kind of timely manner. He wasn’t sure that he was a Lennox dealer to begin with, spent an hour on an automated phone system trying to speak to someone at Lennox and then was kicked out of the system, and he gave me no indication of how long it would take to get it fixed. In desperation, I found a highly-rated HVAC company on Angie’s List and called them that evening. I was willing to pay almost anything to get the system fixed promptly. Sila sent a rep within hours. We met with him that evening and he promised to have the system up and running within two days. A workman arrived the following afternoon and said that he would have the system up and running by the time we returned from a synagogue event welcoming Jess and Alex to the community that evening. Saul helped him fish some wires through the walls and we gave the guy dinner before we left so that he could continue to work until it was fixed. Later that evening we received the distressing call that he was not able to fix it, that it would cost almost $2,000 to fix, or they could install a new Lennox system for $9,000. If we fixed it for $2,000, they would only guarantee it for two more years. We slept uncomfortably on the dilemma that night and I decided that there was no way I would ever buy another Lennox product. Saul paid them $1,500.00 for the seven hours of work and parts. Later, when we complained in a report on Angie’s List, they agreed to settle for $750.00 and returned our money once I took down the bad report.

To salvage what we could of Camp Bubbie and Saba, we packed our suitcases and moved down to Ari’s in DC where we had fun for a few days visiting the Smithsonians, the National Zoo, and playing with Legos and other building toys at the National Building Museum, while I wrangled with the problem, explaining my dilemma for two hours to a sympathetic ear at Angie’s List. They were very helpful. In the end, we had to rely on the company that the home warranty had sent originally. A few days after we returned home, they sent an experienced guy, who fixed the problem in two hours for the cost of our deductible. Amazing how many thousands of dollars can fly out the window if you take a wrong step in one of these matters. We purchased a contract with Alpha Mechanics to service our HVAC systems from now on.

Jess and Alex were able to make settlement relatively smoothly and move into their new house a week before Alex was due to begin work, as they had hoped. And the girls were registered for their schools in Cherry Hill in a timely fashion, which had been Jessica’s one goal in all the uncertainty. There were quite a few bumps. Jess had the beautiful hardwood floors refinished before they moved in, but the refinishers had failed to cover the air conditioning vents while they were sanding. For two days, Jess had no air conditioning until it could be fixed. The plumber who came to fix a leaky pipe and install a new high-efficiency washer and dryer had to be called back the same day when the air conditioning guy punctured a plumbing pipe that had been run through the air conditioning vent. Then all hell broke loose when a clog developed from the tree roots on their heavily wooded lot invading the pipes. Raw sewage backed up and ran out of the toilet in the powder room contaminating large areas of the dining room, laundry room, office, and most of the powder room. Half of the newly refinished hardwood floors had to be removed, and the drywall in those rooms cut halfway up the wall and replaced. The beautiful breakfront from Saul’s mother was a total loss because it was standing in sewage for a day, and Jess also lost the vanity from the powder room. Within a month, her new house was to be totally ripped apart. Luckily, homeowners’ insurance is paying for most of the repairs and replacement, except for the replacement of the sewer line that runs from the house to the street. Jess and Alex have to pay the several thousand dollar cost of replacing the line, but once it is done properly, they will never have a problem again.

On top of all that, Hurricane Irene hit and knocked out their power. Their sump pump stopped and their basement filled with four inches of water. They bailed for a few hours until the power came back on  and the sump pump finished the job quickly.

We did have a few good weeks. Before all this happened, we had a lovely Shabbat dinner there, joined by Beth and Larry. I helped the girls bake a spectacular coconut cake for dessert, and they spent a few hours making figures for the top out of marzipan, a substance that Sami recently discovered at the supermarket. I realized when she asked me about it that it is the perfect medium for her creative urges. As we carefully packed the cake for the journey to NJ, Beth made a comment about how great it would be if it collapsed because we could just dig in and have a big hunk before dinner. She was hungry. We were all shocked when we opened the box that she had been very prophetic. The cake had collapsed in such a manner as to be beyond repair. Beth did get to eat a big hunk before dinner with her hands and so did Larry. Izzy had a temper tantrum when Jessica interrupted her attempt to take a big bite before dinner. Luckily, we have before and after photos, so the work on the marzipan figures has been preserved in some way.

On July 24, Elaine had Maury’s unveiling, over which Alex ably officiated. About three dozen friends and family members gathered on a wickedly hot Sunday morning. Afterward, we had lunch together in a private room of a nearby Bertucci’s.

Additional highlights of our summer: Pajamarama at Barnes & Noble; Kids Concert at the Abington Art Center; seeing Spy Kids in 4D; new Smurf 3D movie with Yona on my lap; an earthquake that struck while Saul and I and the girls were having lunch with my friend Roxy on the second floor of Wegmans, (ironically, Ari, who, in DC, would have been nearest to the epicenter in North Carolina was away on business in Southern California); driving to Ocean City, NJ, to dip our feet in the ocean for an hour and then a few days later, just before Hurricane Irene struck, taking the Sami and Izzy there for a glorious afternoon on the beach, giant slices of pizza for dinner, rides at Pirates’ Cove, and ice cream at Kohr Bros.

When we were teenagers, we used to go to the beach for a day because we couldn’t afford to stay overnight. In describing this to the girls, we became aware that they had never been to the beach for just a day, and that they didn’t realize it was within the realm of possibility. They absolutely loved their day at the beach and showered happily when we got home very late as I had demanded even though they were dead tired and half asleep.

We had free carousel rides for Sami’s birthday at Plymouth Meeting Mall and dinner at King Buffet. We found great food including a huge bowl of vegetarian udon at the upscale food court in King of Prussia Mall, and the best gelato ever. Yona loved pink kitchen at Pottery Barn Kids there just like her sisters always did. The synagogue and the neighbors in Cherry Hill were wonderful in welcoming Jess and Alex to the community. We celebrated a special birthday for Beth at an incredible party/barbecue prepared by Erica and Adele. The girls met lots of the Cherry Hill neighbors and kids at parties held for them, and lots of families and kids from the synagogue festivities. We discovered a new favorite ice cream place, Owowcow in Ottsville. The girls learned how to install real ceramic tile by installing a glass tile floor in their dollhouse. They made wonderful kiln-fired ceramics at Beachcombers, and learned lots of new art skills.

We had an incredible summer, despite all the tensions and upsets. Ari started a new job which he seemed to like very much and went on vacation for two weeks with us between jobs, so at least there was no tension there. Everyone stayed healthy until the very end, we bonded with Yona, and we created wonderful memories that are sure to last a lifetime! What more could we ask?

A Whirlwind Weekend as the Mileage Piles Up

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Saul gave his finals the first few days of last week and then spent a whole day Wednesday rushing to complete his paperwork and get his grades in so that we would be free to spend Thursday in Phoenixville at the Kimberton Waldorf School with Sami. A number of Waldorf schools get together each year for an Olympics-style competition. Jess and Alex could not attend because of work schedules, Jess had late evening duty at Pearlstone for a conference on Saturday, and they had a black-tie, late night wedding to attend for Alex’s cousin, Lisa, on Sunday night. Because of all that, Jess asked me if we would take all of the girls for the whole weekend and Saul and I agreed.

Thursday dawned absolutely beautiful and with ideal temperatures for an outdoor Olympics competition. The Baltimore Waldorf fifth grade was bussed down and arrived at Kimberton about 9:45 a.m.  Saul and I arrived about 10:30 after an absolutely gorgeous 1-hour drive over country roads and through an old covered bridge to the picturesque school setting on the other side. Climbing a hill with our shaded folding chairs, and crossing the field past a burning Olympic torch, we found that we had just missed Sami’s javelin toss, one of her better events. According to her teacher, her form was beautiful. The next few events that we witnessed were not so good, as Sami is one of the worst runners we have ever seen. Because of this, she was terrible at the long jump, not getting any momentum at the end. She was the only left-handed discus thrower on her red-tunic-clad team (Sparta), but sent the discus a respectable distance. Despite her inability to run quickly, her team won the final relay race of the day. She was also quite good at wrestling, a sumo-type event where the weight and size-matched opponents locked hands and tried to push the other out of a chalk ring drawn on the grass. Gold and silver medals were only awarded to the two top-scoring competitors of the day. Everyone else received a beautiful bronze medal, congratulations, and a hand-shake. Delicious powdered sugar-covered butter cookies were distributed from baskets at the closing ceremonies. A spirit award was given to a boy and girl on each of the four teams—a laurel wreath with which they were crowned. A Greek-themed lunch was available for purchase in the school’s lunchroom and was quite good— spanakopita and Greek salad with feta and olives. We sat at a table with Sami’s friend, Acadia, and her parents, and the father of another Baltimore Waldorf classmate, Jacob. The navigator took us on a slightly different route home which was even nicer than the drive there. When we arrived home, Beth called, and Sami invited herself next door to visit. She came back with a beautiful acrylic painting she had done there of Hobbs, Beth’s new Cairn terrier, painted to look like a lion.

Jessica arrived with the other two girls already asleep late that evening. Yona awoke and gave her a hard time going to bed, but finally, after about a half hour, all of us were asleep. Yona woke first in the morning, followed by Izzy and then Sami. I toasted bagels and made Sami hot oatmeal and eventually we all breakfasted, watching children’s television. Jess left early to pick up her mother-in-law and sister, Shirley, to look at some more houses in Cherry Hill. She is so overwhelmed right now with the upcoming move that she forgot to take Yona’s car seat out for us to use. Leaving Saul to babysit, I went to Costco in the afternoon, buying us a new one, purchasing a few items for dinner, and picking up a hot pizza for lunch. Our guests for dinner on Friday night included Faith and her son, Jon, and granddaughter, Hilary, and Larry. Beth stopped in just for a few minutes to say hi as Paul is still recovering from his surgery. We had homemade challah, homemade chicken soup with mini bow-tie noodles, hummus with chips, tossed salad, and sesame-flavored brown basmati rice. My right arm has been very achy for a week now that I overdid the gardening, vacuuming, and sweeping, so while I went to lay down for a while while Yona was napping, Sami and Izzy made oatmeal-peanut butter-raisin cookies for dessert. They cooperated beautifully according to Saul, and the cookies were great. They also made tiny individual challahs while I was braiding the dough. Faith brought perky salmon-colored gerbera daisies in a bouquet, and Larry brought each of the girls a stuffed animal.

Saul tried on his full ceremonial regalia for the girls to see before he left for commencement at the college, which took the entire day. He left about 11 a.m. and did not return until 5:30 p.m. The girls and I just hung out, watching videos, playing games, and doing crafts. I gave Sami and Izzy two pairs of old panty hose, an old pillow, a button box, and my sewing kit. They each made a stuffed bunny rabbit. We ate leftovers for lunch and dinner on Saturday.

On Sunday, we cleaned up the house, made beds, did laundry and ate lunch. Erica decided to join us with Brenna for an afternoon at The Franklin Institute. She followed us downtown with Sami and Brenna in her car so that we could continue on to put the girls to bed in Baltimore afterward. We all had a marvelous time at the Institute. The girls made paper, went through “The Heart,” played with static electricity, water, sand, sports apparatus, did puzzles, climbed through and over tubes, and generally were running around and active all afternoon. When the museum closed at five, we headed for Baltimore. Not having had any snacks all afternoon, the girls were ravenous as we searched for a place to have dinner that would be quick and child-friendly with vegetarian choices. We reached Christiana Mall in Delaware a little before six, but The Cheesecake Factory there had a half-hour wait. We settled on Ruby Tuesday, around the back of the mall, because it has a salad buffet. It was practically empty and the hostess was as slow and clueless as they come. Our waiter saved the day, though, by making excellent suggestions and bringing out a constant stream of dishes as they were ready. In addition to the salad buffet, we ordered what turned out to be a big bowl of creamy artichoke and spinach dip with warm chips that kept everyone satisfied. Izzy took the leftovers to school the next day for lunch, and Yona thought it was a delicious soup. Our waiter brought us warm chip refills, lemonade refills, cheesy hot biscuits, and perfectly cooked pasta with chunky marinara for the kids. Saul and I ordered two different fish dishes, trout and mahi, and both were quite adequate. By the time we had finished, however, more than two hours had passed and we still had a long drive ahead of us before we could put them to bed. The ride was a real nightmare for a good portion of the time as we encountered a thunderstorm, torrential rain that was blinding as we crossed the Susquehanna River with tractor trailers on all sides. Of course, this was the time that the girls decided to get difficult until I lost my cool and read them the riot act. It worked! Within a few minutes of singing “calming songs” after that, they were all asleep. The rain ceased on the last half hour of the drive, and they all settled into their beds as soon as we arrived. Jess and Alex returned from the wedding in DC a few hours later, and we decided to take the shorter drive to DC instead of going home rather than chance encountering more rain in the dark while we were tired. We spent the night at Ari’s house and in the morning, cleaned up, watered plants, hung up some of the artwork that he had framed, and put a dimmer switch on his dining room lighting.

That evening, Ari was expecting Menachem and Liz, Alex and Jess’s friends from Berkeley, California, who had been invited to the White House for a luncheon with President Obama. They were unable to find a hotel room anywhere near DC, so Ari was delighted to put them up for two nights and pick them up from the airport. Menachem, who was Alex’s best man at his wedding, is a rabbi in Berkeley. Alex, Jess, Menachem and Liz had all been in the joint program at JTS undergraduate school together.

We left Ari’s house on Monday and decided to stop in Baltimore on the way home for a few reasons. We knew that Jess is now working from home on Mondays and thought she might be able to lunch with us, and Sami had left her Kindle in the car under our umbrella stroller that we had used for Yona in the museum. When we arrived, Jess and Alex, who had just stopped home to have some lunch with Jess, were just sitting down to lunch. Our attempts to reach Jess by phone that morning had failed because Alex had set their phones to mute during the wedding the previous evening. Alex ate his lunch and went back to work, and Jess decided to join us for lunch. We had a relaxing and satisfying vegetarian Thai lunch nearby, and were glad to have the opportunity to just have a long, quiet conversation with Jess without distractions from the kids. Our ride back home over the scenic route was untroubled and relaxing. We were glad we had spent the night in DC.

Tuesday and Wednesday have been full staff development days at CHC for Saul. Tomorrow, his summer school classes begin. Tomorrow is also the last class of the year for Faith’s class and, according to tradition, will be followed by a festive luncheon, which this year is at Ellen’s home. I’ve been trying to take it easy the last few days because my right arm is still achy and getting pins and needles occasionally. Despite overdoing things by picking up Yona, it seems to be a little better each day. Tomorrow evening, we are invited to have dinner with our friends, Ruth and Giora in New Jersey. We are really racking up the miles on our new Prius, but enjoying our new toy very much.

Passover through Mother’s Day 2011

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In April, we spent most of our weekends in Baltimore and DC. We helped Ari repaint his front door and stain a tea cart/wine rack to match his kitchen cabinets. We shopped for annuals to refill his outdoor flower pots and rejoiced in the arrival of spring further south, where the growing season began a few weeks earlier than at home. We served as surrogate parents for Izzy at a religious school program celebrating her class’s finishing of their book, while Jess and Alex were teaching. We thoroughly enjoyed chasing Yona around the building while waiting for the program to start, and we helped Izzy decorate cookies in class. Afterward, Jess and I went shopping in her well-stocked, nearby, supermarkets for Passover supplies, including Seven-Mile Market, a totally kosher Superfresh-size supermarket. We also spent some time at the Cherry Blossom Festival in downtown DC. The proceeds this year were to be used to benefit the Japanese victims of the tsunami. Ari bought a large Japanese print on handmade paper with an artist’s depiction of the train system in Japan and the highlights of the countryside at each station. We took it to be framed at Michael’s in Silver Spring and had some other things framed as well, including a special fabric rendering of a temple that he purchased in Tokyo. This was specially framed at a do-it-yourself framing place in DC.

The week before Passover was spent kashering my kitchen for Passover so that I could prepare certain dishes and desserts for our seder, Faith’s seder, and for the upcoming 10 days that we would be spending in Baltimore/DC. I made seven sorbet flavors this year. The most exotic was fresh guava. The others were grapefruit, strawberry, mango, blood orange, lemon, and banana. I tried two new recipes this year with great success, vegetarian Passover meatballs, and Passover strawberry rhubarb pie. I made Passover potato knishes, Passover egg noodles, chocolate almond bars, and mocha mousse crepes with raspberry/currant sauce. I made lots and lots of Passover rolls using half whole-wheat matzoh meal but, other than when they were crispy and hot out of the oven, they were pretty heavy and I think I will go back to using regular matzoh meal entirely next year. I made a lemon pudding and layered it with egg noodle crepes and fresh sliced bananas and strawberries to make a torte that was delicious, but the texture needs a little more work before I can post the recipe. I bought Mother’s margarine to use, remembering what a wonderful product it was years ago. I will never buy it again, as it was so full of water that there were tiny wet pockets in the sticks and the texture of the mousses was not right because of it. I am so tired of paying high prices for inferior products during Passover. The one bright note was the jams from the Israeli brand, 778, which put to shame the top brands of jam made here, such as Polaner’s and Smuckers.

A few days before leaving, Saul attended a retirement party for our friend and his colleague, Ralph. I made a last-minute trip to the dentist because of a problem with heat and cold sensitivity, and the dentist told me I would need a root canal as soon as possible. I scheduled one with the recommended endodontist for the Thursday after I was returning and took a complete dosage of antibiotics during the holidays. Also before leaving for the holidays, our Prius needed to be serviced to fix a problem with the headlights randomly going out. After Saul and I had breakfast across the street from the dealer, our car still needed a little more time and we decided to look at the new ones. To make a long story short, they made us an offer we couldn’t refuse, and within two hours, we had traded in the old one, drove home, loaded up the new, 2011 Prius, and drove in our brand new car (complete with up-to-the-minute traffic reports on the nav system) down to Baltimore. On Sunday evening, Saul and I drove home for the day so that he could teach his Monday classes. We drove back directly to the first seder in Baltimore on Monday evening. Within this month, we have put over 1,800 miles on our new car.

We took Sami and Izzy to sleep over at Ari’s house on the Friday night before Passover and Ari and I made Shabbat dinner there. I felt really badly because, through a misunderstanding with Jess, Yona had been expecting to come also and was wild when she discovered that she was not going in the car with the other two girls. On Sunday, I spent a few hours kashering Ari’s small kitchen for Pesach. I brought my mixer and Cuisinart to DC, along with pots and pans, dishes, and utensils for the holiday. Cooking in Ari’s small kitchen was, surprisingly, a pleasure. There was plenty of counter space and storage space, and everything was right within my grasp for convenience.

Our last seders in Baltimore at Jess and Alex’s were incredibly enjoyable for me. Izzy bathed Inky, the house was spotless, and I did not suffer badly from my allergies as I have in the past. Alex produced a beautiful, full-color family haggadah especially designed for all of us, which made the seder festivities all the more enjoyable. His sister, Naomi, brought new baby Talia Madeline the second night and we were joined by some of her friends and her husband, Matt’s, parents. Neri stayed with Ari all throughout the holidays and joined us for the seders as well. Also present were Alex’s mother, Elaine, our friend Elaine, Alex’s brother and sister-in-law and their children, Aaron, Stacey, Jacob, Lilly and Zach, Stacey’s parents, Aunt Ruth and Anne, her son, Max, and a girlfriend. Sami, who has been studying Greek mythology at school for a while, decided that the theme of our seder this year should be a “satyr seder,” and she fabricated an assorted bunch to decorate the table to accompany the usual toy frogs that keep us amused during the evening. This type of word play from a ten-year-old proves that she is definitely my father’s great-granddaughter. As usual, Alex prepared an assortment of delicious soups, the best matzoh balls on the planet, a delectable assortment of appetizers and salads (karpas) to stave off hunger during the early parts of the seder, and an incredible array of grilled and stewed meats and turkey, accompanied by many side dishes. I, of course, provided desserts. The horseradish root Saul dug out of our garden (which had originally come from Uncle Stef’s garden almost forty years ago) was unusually strong this year and just about gave all of us heart palpitations. We had a good laugh at each other’s encounters with the bitter herb. Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves very much through the evening, including all the children.

Jamie and Andy with Presley slept over at Ari’s later in the week on their way down to Myrtle Beach to vacation with Andy’s family. We went to the National Zoo together and had a marvelous day. The animals were all very active and interesting, probably because of the beautiful day and temperate weather. A giant octopus zoomed up to the glass in its aquarium and freaked out Presley whose face was only a few inches away. She told us it was her favorite part of the day. Afterward, I made us all a dinner of warm Passover popovers filled with scrambled eggs, creamy sauteéd mushrooms, and cheese. Accompanied by veggie meatballs, steamed asparagus, and finishing with our chocolate desserts, the meal was quite satisfying. In the morning, I made fried matzoh two ways, my family’s traditional scrambled style topped with sugar, and Saul’s family’s traditional pancake-style matzoh brei with salt and freshly ground pepper. Jamie and Andy left on their journey right after breakfast.

A couple of days after we returned home following Yizkor services on the last day of Pesach and lunch cleaning up leftovers with Jess and Alex and the girls, it was time for me to face the dreaded root canal. There were just a few seconds of intense pain as the endodontist began his work and discovered that I needed more anesthetic.  Then, in the middle of the process, he decided that my tooth was cracked so far down that he could not save the tooth and that it would have to be extracted. At my request to have the process over and done with as soon as possible, he sent me to the offices of an oral surgeon downstairs in the same building. Designated an “emergency,” I waited over two hours with a cavernous hole in the tooth and the fear that the anesthetic would wear off before they could see me. It didn’t. When I was treated, though, I needed a whole new set of anesthetic needles for the extraction, a process which wound up taking only a couple of minutes despite the fact that the tooth broke into pieces as it was being removed. I was given prescriptions for major pain killers. Beth picked them up for me at the pharmacy that evening, but I slept through the trauma of it most of the afternoon and the entire evening. It was the day after the incredible tornado damage in the south and we were under a tornado watch here also. The weather was frightening, dark, very windy, and with torrents of rain, but luckily, the tornadoes bypassed us. I am lucky also that the tooth is in the back and the hole is not obvious. Saul was at school from early in the morning, until late in the evening that day, so I had to face the whole ordeal without his moral support. I am still trying to decide how best to deal with the hole.

Jess came down late that evening, slept over and went to pick up her mother-in-law and her sister, Shirley, early the next morning while Saul and I waited for the early delivery and assembly of our new bedroom furniture, which we love. After touring some very promising houses in Cherry Hill, where we rendezvoused with Jess, Elaine and Shirley, we were back on the road to Baltimore. Sami was playing the lead role of Phaedra in the play by Euripedes at her Waldorf school. She had quickly memorized over 300 lines of very obscure text and a series of dance-like movements to perform. I think she may have a talent for acting. Jess then delivered Elaine and Shirley to Aaron and Stacey’s home and we continued on to Ari’s home where Jess and Alex, the girls, Naomi, Matt, Talia and us were all to meet and have Shabbat dinner together. Alex had leftover entreés from Passover, veal, ribs, and stew, mashed sweet potato, soup, and desserts. I brought challot from the freezer. Ari had wine and grape juice. We had a very lovely and laid-back Shabbat evening together.

The next day was Talia’s baby-naming at Adas Israel in Washington. It was a gloriously beautiful spring day. We drove over to the shul and Alex easily walked the mile-and-a-half distance. The service was lovely, the synagogue impressive, and the oneg Shabbat luncheon afterward ample and delicious. We went back to Ari’s to change into more comfortable clothing and then headed off for Matt’s parents’ home about 5 miles away where a further celebration was taking place. Alex stayed at Ari’s for the afternoon. The catered menu was all vegetarian and very tasty and the weather was so beautiful that everyone hung around for hours, schmoozing outdoors, and watching the many children who were present playing games in the backyard. Back at Ari’s, Saul and I napped away the rest of the afternoon while the kids hung out in front of the t.v. Unfortunately, Yona refused to nap and was very overstimulated and cranky. They all went home as soon as Shabbat was over. We set out for home rather early on Sunday as Saul had been fighting a really bad cold for several days and wanted to get to bed early in order to tackle his overloaded last regular week of school. He only began to feel better after a trip to the doctor and a few days of taking antibiotics. We picked our friend Larry up from Philadelphia airport on Wednesday evening. Larry had been in Italy on a Grand Circle tour for the past three weeks and Saul had covered some of his classes. Thursday morning, I attended Faith’s class and then met Roxy at P.F. Chang’s in Warrington for lunch. She treated me for my birthday, which was two months ago, but it was the first time we were able to get together.

There wasn’t much of a breather for us, either, with Mother’s Day and Yona’s birthday celebration falling the following Sunday. In addition, I was about to meet and entertain Carl and Kelly (Ken and Randi’s good friends) this past Friday for Shabbat dinner. Never having met them before, and they never having experienced a Shabbat dinner, I wanted to make sure that the house and food were especially presentable. During the week I baked the cakes for Yona’s birthday and went shopping with Saul to pick up the supplies I would need for this past weekend. We bought herbs and flowers to replenish our dead planters on the deck, while Danny, Erica’s husband, made the rest of our landscape impeccable with his new landscaping business. I worked in the garden and finished getting it ready for planting. My arms are still aching today from the unaccustomed combination of garden weasel, large outdoor push broom for cleaning up the deck, and vacuum cleaner. In between, I was readying the girls’ rooms for Camp Bubbie and Saba, which will begin officially on June 12 this year. Shabbat dinner was very enjoyable this week. Larry and Faith joined us. Carl and Kelly were just as wonderful a couple as Ken had told us, and we enjoyed having them immensely. For dinner, we had homemade challah; two soups, cold strawberry and leek and Cope’s dried corn soup; two salads, Israeli and Caesar; deviled eggs, guacamole (made with fresh herbs from the planters), tuna and escolar (which Ken grilled perfectly on the Weber charcoal grill); salt-rubbed baked potatoes with sour cream and fresh chives from the garden; fresh blueberry pie with whipped cream and chocolates that Faith brought for dessert. Ari sent me a bouquet of flowers on Friday for Mother’s Day.

Ari brought Izzy up with him on Saturday evening because Sami had a birthday party to attend. Izzy helped me make icing for Yona’s Noah’s Ark birthday cake. We all headed off to King Buffet for a late dinner, and Izzy was so tired that she couldn’t wait to go to bed. Ari helped me decorate the cake and clean up and then we all went off to bed. Izzy, Saul and I got up early Sunday morning to get the house and deck ready for company. Ari got up a short time after that. Jess and Alex arrived with Sami and Yona about 9 a.m. bearing flowers and about an hour later, sent me off to shower and change. By the time I had finished, everything had been set up beautifully for the party and the guests had begun to arrive. Beth did not join us this year as Paul had surgery in Kentucky on Friday and she had spent the weekend there. Ken and Randi, and their kids got together for a brunch themselves in Collingswood. Ken and Randi joined us later in the afternoon. Adele and Larry came bearing bagels, Danny and Erica with Brenna and Ava, cousin Bob, Aunt Ruth, Anne and Ben, and our friend, Larry were here. While we were out cleaning the deck, we said hi to Ilsa and Manuel, Beth’s friends who had come to take care of her dogs. We invited them to join us and they went home to shower and came back bearing flowers also. At my kids’ and husband’s requests, I did not make as elaborate a spread this year. We had: bagels, lox, whitefish salad, herring, cream cheese, deviled eggs, sliced tomatoes, onions, radishes, peppers, romaine lettuce, Comté cheese, cheddar, brie, sliced assorted cheeses like American, Colby and Jack (Anne brought a delicious farmhouse artisan cheese called Vermont Thunder) Israeli salad, guacamole, strawberry soup, orange and apple juice, coffee and tea, and cake and assorted flavors of ice cream. The Noah’s Ark cake was made of mocha-cooked-frosting-covered chocolate medallion cake, topped with a date bread frosted with vanilla butter cream icing. I used graham crackers to make the roof of the ark.

Ken and Randi arrived after most had gone home and hung around for awhile in the afternoon. They had eaten too much during their brunch to want dinner. When Beth arrived from the airport, she joined us and we had dinner at the Metropolitan American Diner. Then Jess and Alex left with the girls for home. Ari picked up some laundry he had done here and headed for home as well a few minutes later. I straightened up the house a bit and Saul and I went off to bed, trying to rest up for the final week of this semester.

Early April Showers, Late Passover

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Once Purim is over, my life is usually a headlong rush to prepare for Passover. Even though Jess and Alex have taken over the larger responsibility of hosting family and friends for the seders, the inevitable task of cleaning the whole house, particularly the kitchen, and changing dishes, utensils, and pots and pans so that I can make desserts and other assorted items for the week is topmost on my mind. This is not a complaint.  I actually enjoy the rhythm of my Jewish lifestyle. I like it when everything is different for a while, and Pesach certainly fills that bill. There is no reaching for a familiar spoon or coffee mug. Even though it is a tremendous amount of work to clean, I love when all is finished and I can get to work cooking and baking, barefoot, on my silky, Murphy’s-oil-polished, crumb-less hardwood kitchen floor.

During the last week of March, we celebrated Faith’s birthday with Larry by dining together at Bonefish Grill. Faith and my mother had always shared a late-March birthday. The food was wonderful and very reasonably priced. Saul and I began by sharing a large, appealing ahi tuna appetizer and then could not begin to finish our gigantic and tasty portions of flaky, tempura-battered fish and chips. Saul and I had the leftovers for lunch during the next two days. We also joined Larry during the week for the early-bird dinner at The Fireside Grill in Ambler.

The weather has been mostly awful these last few days of March and first few days of April. On the first, we awoke to a constant flutter of the largest snowflakes I have ever seen. I was very happy that we had stopped the previous afternoon to pick up a bunch of perky sunflowers for Shabbat. Looking at the unseasonable weather through the vase full of sunflowers on the kitchen table, we enjoyed the peace and beauty of the snowfall, but felt hopeful that spring would be arriving soon. The inch-high coating on our deck as we ate breakfast, gave way later in the morning as it melted, to what looked like water-ice on the ground. Eventually, it disappeared completely as the sun peeked through in the afternoon. Saul and I puttered with a wonderful cheesecake recipe I developed to try to use up a barely-started, three-pound block of cream cheese before Passover. After getting my challah dough ready, we went on a bunch of errands together to the bank and to drop off our income tax to our accountant. Ken and Randi were supposed to bring their friend, Carl, for Shabbat dinner this week. His wife was attending a brother who had open-heart surgery. Late in the morning, Ken called to say that Carl had begged off because he was sick with a nasty cold. Saul and I both enjoyed the preparations for dinner and the cheesecake came out absolutely wonderful. We were joined for dinner by Larry, Faith, Beth, Ken and Randi. Randi brought a crisp and fruity pinot grigio from Bartenura. For dinner, we had homemade challah; deviled eggs; leek and Cope’s dried corn soup;  Israeli salad; baked steelhead trout with lime, caramelized onion, and fresh ginger; and spinach ravioli. The fresh blackberry cheesecake dacquoise for dessert was exquisite and delicious.

On Saturday evening, we were invited to dinner at the new condo apartment of our friends, Mort and Elsa. After over a year of tribulations trying to sell their beautiful, prominent architect-designed home in this terrible market, they were finally comfortably ensconced in their new condo which has sweeping views encompassing sunrise from one terrace, and sunset from another. This was accomplished with a great deal of aggravation and expense even months after the sale of their house had been completed. Elsa unfolded a tale for us, before dinner, of the complicated shenanigans of the new buyers which had undoubtedly sapped much of the joy out of beginning their new life together in their cozy condo. I was feeling very grateful that I can turn my attentions to settling back into my own home after the stress of having it on the market, on-and-off, for over a year. Mort and Elsa had also invited their friends, Sue and Andy, whom we had never met. Later in the evening we discovered that Jess had tutored their daughter, Colette, for her bat mitzvah when Jess and Alex still lived and worked in this area. My cheesecake did double duty on Saturday night also, as I persuaded Elsa to let me bring dessert. With everyone so health and weight conscious these days, no one wants to eat more than a sliver or take home tempting leftovers. Saul and I are in the same boat, so we were delighted to see our efforts spread around and the cake did not go to waste or waist. We had a delightful evening dining with Mort and Elsa and their friends and reminiscing about the highlights of our 25-year friendship.

On Sunday, because the weather looked good when we awoke, we decided to go to visit Saul’s mom at Lion’s Gate. Monday was her eighty-third birthday. The one-hour journey to see her was fraught with tension, as we did not know in what condition we would find her. On our last visit, she had been moved to a more intensive unit than the Alzheimer’s unit, Safe Haven, where she had been originally, and Saul, although he had expected it, had been shocked that she no longer recognized him as her son. This had caused him more than a few restless nights. We found her in the community room just as we entered, sitting in a chair, holding a lifelike baby-doll dressed in pink and wrapped in a small towel. Her face lit up at the sight of us, even though she did not really recognize us. She first said to me  “I know you and I like you.” To Saul, she said, “I think you come from Rachova (her pre-Holocaust hometown), and I think you can speak Yiddish.” They conversed about how she was feeling in a polyglot of languages, she mostly answering in English with a smattering of Yiddish. She had no complaints, no concerns and was not in any pain. Her ankles were not nearly as swollen as they had been on previous visits. We had discussed, ahead of time, that we would not trouble her with any questions that might make her uncomfortable. She looked in good condition, one of the few present who were not confined to a wheelchair, and with her hair still dyed her preferred shade of blond. She was also holding a chocolate-flavored energy drink in a box with a bendy straw. She seemed to have forgotten what to do with a straw as she kept taking it in and out of the box, usually placing it the wrong way in, and did not drink from it even when we encouraged her. Even though the facilities are lovely and comfortable, the time dragged as we struggled to find topics for pleasant conversation considering her impaired capacity. An almost comatose woman in a wheelchair several feet from us made horrible, and apparently involuntary, repetitive moaning noises the whole time we were there, which we tried desperately to ignore. A younger woman, who appeared to have a severe case of Downs Syndrome, stood by me most of the time and patted my hair every so often. It was overwhelming to see so many human beings, devoid of most of their mental and physical capacity, being attended to by a staff that surely has a special place in heaven awaiting them for being able to do such a job day in and day out. When we arrived back home, we both napped for a few hours, so taxed had we been by the experience.

Yesterday, while Saul was off at school, I continued to clean and to move things around in the house to accommodate our move to the other master bedroom and to get ready for Passover. I have been shopping on-line and find the arrival of plush packages at our front door very soothing right now, especially a fluffy, Hungarian goose down comforter that was a dream to snuggle under last night.

This morning, I was awakened by the sound of torrential rain beating on the house. There is a possibility of severe thunderstorms and tornadoes. Forty-mile-an-hour winds and record cold temperatures are predicted for this afternoon. Rabbi Addison, who gained a new grandson last week, lost his 90-year-old father this week and we are planning to make a shiva call with Faith this evening.  It seems as though we have all grown old so fast. I am happy to have the strength and mental capacity to be able to shake my life up a bit. Passover encourages us to do just that and I am grateful for the obligation and opportunity. We don’t get to choose how our lives will end, but I would be happy to have the strength to prepare for and take care of others to the end of my days, and I don’t mind hard work and shaking up my life to do it.