Off and Running on the First Great Week

Click here for additional photos.

Wednesday dawned foggy, gray, and with thick fluffy dark clouds. We felt that we could not stand another day at the swim club with blue patches of sky teasing us for five minutes at a time while we were being eaten up by flies and mosquitoes. Saul went for his last session of physical therapy and when he returned, he, Adele and the girls set the table for lunch. Ken came by himself for lunch and we all had salami omelets while he visited with Mom. We decided to take the girls for a matinee to see the movie, Up, in 3D. We dragged them there, kicking and screaming almost, that they did not want to see the movie because a friend had told them about some bad things in the movie. I insisted that we go because I had been looking forward to seeing it and had waited for them to come so that we could all see it together. They actually really liked the movie and had a great time after all. Izzy polished off a whole large popcorn almost single handed. I really liked the movie, too, and was happy I forced the issue. On the way home, we stopped at Costco to pick up Ensure for Mom, and milk, orange juice, fresh fruit and bagels. While there, we bought the girls slices of pizza and a churro to share for dinner. Then, we went on to Trader Joe’s so that they could pick out boxes of their favorite breakfast cereals for the summer. We all went to bed early in preparation for our busy Thursday before leaving for a weekend in Baltimore/DC.

Being members of the Philadelphia Zoo, we received a card in the mail earlier this month about a pajama party for children after regular hours at the zoo. Our membership allows us to bring three children, so we invited Brenna to come with us. Brenna would not be home from camp before 4:00 p.m. so it was difficult for her to be ready to come to our house before 5:00 p.m., which was the latest we could leave to be at the zoo by 6:00 p.m. in rush hour traffic. Sami had asked me if we could go early to spend some time in the members-only Tree House before the party. Because of all these logistics, we decided to leave for the zoo early in the morning with Sami and Izzy, come home for lunch and a nap, and then return to the zoo in the evening with Brenna. The zoo is available to members as early as 8:30 a.m., but we were not able to get there before 10:00 a.m. It turned out to be a great plan because the weather was temperate and the zoo was not terribly crowded at that hour on a Wednesday. We headed immediately for the Tree House which now has a unique jungle-themed, handicap-accessible carousel installed next to it. After playing in the Tree House and riding the carousel, we stopped to eat some snacks we had brought along in a nearby picnic table area and had some close encounters with geese. We spent time in the Children’s Zoo where Izzy persuaded the attendant to let her hold a very large cockroach while Sami ran away to feed the ducks nearby.

We left the zoo around 12:15 p.m. stopping to have lunch at King Buffet in Plymouth Meeting Mall, which, to the girls delight, had expanded their sushi offerings. We were all in bed for naps by 2:30 p.m. At 4:30 p.m. I awoke everyone, cooked some macaroni and cheese for a quick light dinner and we were on our way back to the zoo by 5:15 p.m. with Brenna in tow. We practically had the place to ourselves. There were special feeding demonstrations of a jaguar, cheetahs, and polar bears. The girls also had an unbelievably close encounter with a peacock opened in its full glory. A part of the video is a bit shaky as Saul and I were trying very hard to control our laughter when the peacock began to shake its feathers and all three girls jumped back in fear at the same time.

Sami and Brenna were itchy to explore on their own in the uncrowded surroundings. Spotting giraffes off in the distance, I told them they could go there by themselves and meet us there. Shortly after we met up with them in front of the giraffes, the two of them bolted off at full speed without approval. Saul and I both yelled to them to stop, but they were too far off to hear us. In desperation, Saul let out his loud whistle, which in earlier years could split your ear drums. He had complained after his stroke that he had lost the ability, but evidently, under duress, it had returned quite naturally. Not only did the two girls stop dead in their tracks, but to everyone’s surprise who had been standing nearby, the two giraffes who had been standing around docilely as giraffes are wont to do, took off at a full gallop towards Saul. He was as surprised as anyone at the effect he had on the giraffes. Everyone begged him to do it again, but I think he was a little cowed (or giraffed?) at the power he had demonstrated. So among his many other talents, we can now credit him with being a giraffe whistler (as opposed to whisperer). The evening ended with an outdoor live concert of a jazz band as the sun set behind them. Only a dozen parents and children were in attendance. On the way home, we stopped to get water ice at Rita’s. We were all in bed by 10:00 p.m.

Stacey had agreed to stay with Mom for the weekend so that we could attend the Caribbean Festival in DC that passes just down the street from Ari’s condo. Randi visited Mom on Friday morning with her two sisters, Sherrie and Lorie. After they left, we packed our bags and left for Baltimore at about 12:15 p.m., stopping again at Bahama Breeze for lunch on the way. They obliged us by accepting a $10 coupon that had expired the previous day. We all had a great time together at lunch. Jess and Alex were hosting a newlywed couple from New York for the weekend, children of friends from the Philadelphia area. They had gone to Baltimore to attend and co-officiate at the wedding of a friend. Ari drove in for Shabbat dinner as well as Alex’s sister and brother, his brother’s wife, and their three children. Again, we were 14 for dinner this week. Alex made a smoked turkey soup, chopped salad, red cabbage salad, steamed rice and two different types of marinated, grilled boneless chicken breasts. Dessert was fresh fruit salad with cinnamon and chocolate babka.

The weather could not have been more perfect for the Caribbean Parade. We found a wonderful, shady spot under a tall leafy tree by the judges stand just down the block from Ari’s condo. I stood almost directly behind the official photographer for the event. The colors and music were a delight to both eyes and ears. The atmosphere was jovial and infectiously lighthearted. After a few hours rest while waiting for the traffic to dissipate, we headed for Rockville, Maryland, where we tried a recommended Taiwanese restaurant from the new “Cheap Eats” edition of the magazine Washingtonian, Bob’s Noodle House 66. The place was in a dilapidated strip mall and was extremely shabby, but the food was well prepared, generous and authentic. We all tried a new food that we had never experienced before, Aiyu jelly, made from the seeds of a particular Taiwanese fig. Ari thought it tasted bitter, but Saul and I both liked it. Cut into tiny yellowish cubes, it was served for dessert as an accompaniment to shaved ice with condensed milk and cane sugar syrup. Also on the side, we ordered sweetened red beans and peanuts.

We drove into downtown Rockville after dinner and decided to see the new Transformers movie. Ari was upset that the movie turned out to be over 2 hours long, at least an hour longer than any of us really wanted. Now, I have seen the opposite of a chick flick.

This morning, I arose at 7 a.m., showered and dressed, and we all headed back to Baltimore. Jess and I left for Haley’s bridal shower at Ooka in Doylestown, Pennsylvania, around 9:30 a.m. while Saul headed home with the girls about 11:00 a.m. During the ride to the shower, Jessica and I had a chance to talk for over two hours with no one else around, a truly rare and enjoyable occurrence. The shower was lovely and unique, with hibachi chefs providing diversion and good food, and friends and family creating the congenial din that surrounded us. Dinner tonight was pizza delivery. We didn’t have the energy left for anything more than tucking the girls lovingly into bed with a “Shmuel” story.

Camp Bubbie and Saba 2009 Begins

Click here for additional photos.

Considering where I am this moment, I can’t believe what Saul and I accomplished this week. I was getting really nervous and upset because I was feeling so terrible between the infection in my mouth and the antibiotic I was taking to get rid of it. On Tuesday, Saul drove me the hour-long ride to the dentist after I had been on Clindamycin for 24 hours so that he could work on me. I was not up to making the drive myself. Luckily, the pain turned out to be from an infection under the root of my back-most lower molar and did not involve the tooth itself. After a very painful, but thankfully, 10 minute procedure, we were back on the road home with minimal residual suffering. The dentist reminded me that I was to finish the antibiotic no matter how good I might feel. By Wednesday afternoon, however, as I was trying to put the final touches on a publication, I felt as though I had been kicked in the stomach from the antibiotic. Thursday morning, the dentist gave me permission to discontinue it. The infection seems to be gone. He said we would try a different one if the infection returned. So far, so good.

All this made me worry that I would not be up to preparing dinner for 14 on Friday or fetching my granddaughters from Baltimore for the start of Camp Bubbie and Saba on Father’s Day, not to mention the energy required to entertain two little girls.

Our new aide in caring for Mom, Debbie, started work on Wednesday to cover for Stacey, who was away for several days. Luckily, Mom liked her very much and she was incredibly good and experienced at handling aged and bedridden patients from her nursing home experience. On her first day here, Ken came over for lunch with her son, Steve, who works for Ken, and we all got to know each other over good food at the kitchen table. Adele joined us also and Saul and I got back from a Costco grocery run just in time to put lunch on the table and get Ken and Steve back to work on time. Saul left even before Ken and Steve to keep an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon, who gave him a cortisone injection in the shoulder to finally eliminate the sleep-disturbing pain that Saul has been experiencing for at least six weeks. While the painful right shoulder was responsive to the physical therapy, the left shoulder pain had remained despite all the physical therapist’s efforts. It was finally determined from x-rays and an MRI, that the problem is from a rotator-cuff injury. After a few days, Saul’s pain has finally dissipated.

By Friday morning, I was feeling much better and full of energy. I had finished my publication, begun work on a calendar, and was happy to be puttering around the kitchen with Saul, and towards afternoon, Adele, who had come to help us prepare Shabbat dinner. Saul set up the dining room table beautifully with crisply-folded embroidered napkins for a somewhat crowded 14. Our guests, in addition to the three of us, were Adele, Larry, Irv, Fran, my cousin Ellen, who had come to visit Mom after many years, her daughter, Amanda, Ellen’s significant other, Paul, Larry Shipper, Debbie, Ken and Randi. Beth joined us a bit later in the evening. The menu included warm homemade challah; chilled strawberry soup; cod lamaize; caesar salad; vegetable lasagna; cedar-planked, charcoal grilled, filet of salmon with mustard marinade; homemade potato salad; gezer chai; lemon-verbena iced tea; leftover coconut cake from Yona’s naming, leftover gingerbread doves from Yona’s naming, Presley Bella cake with icing decorated for three birthdays—Randi’s, Irv’s and Fran’s; and sliced fresh peaches, cherries, strawberries, blueberries and bananas with vanilla custard sauce.

Debbie came early on Saturday so that we could attend services on my father’s yahrzeit. Because it had been pouring for days, and Saturday was no exception, services were very sparsely attended. We napped for a few hours in the afternoon. Finally, on Saturday night, Saul’s pain disappeared and he was able to get a good night’s sleep.

Sunday morning, we joined Larry and Adele, Irv and Fran, Erica, Danny, Brenna, Ava, Beth and her friend, Paul, for a delicious buffet brunch at The William Penn Inn. By coincidence, our waiter was the son of Ian, one of three English-born brothers with whom we had worked for many years at both The William Penn Inn and Bentley’s nearby. Ian and his wife were working the brunch also in another area of the restaurant, and Ian stopped over to see us and catch us up with his brothers’ lives.

As soon as we returned, we hit the road for Baltimore. We decided to drive all the way down to pick up the girls for the summer because Jessica had persuaded Ari to join us as well so that we could all have dinner together for Father’s Day. In addition, we were bringing a set of vintage dishes called “Dixie Dogwood” that Saul sold on eBay after our garage sale, to a woman who just happened to live just a few minutes away. We dined at our kids’ favorite Japanese restaurant, Sushi Ya, where they had named a special roll for Izzy when she graduated from preschool. We arrived back home by 10 p.m. to tuck the girls and ourselves into bed.

Monday morning was spent unpacking the girls’ summer clothes and loading everything into their drawers. Their drawers had filled with a number of toys during the winter, so after we emptied the drawers of toys, and loaded them with clothing, we reorganized all the toys in the toy box and closet. From 6 to 7 a.m. in the morning, because I was up early and so were the girls, I answered Sami’s questions about the action figure, Teela, from the old Masters of the Universe series of cartoons. We had found Teela and Prince Adam still in their original packages while preparing for the garage sale. Checking on eBay, I discovered that they were only worth about $9, so I gave them to the girls to open and add to the other characters and related toys we had found. Since I remembered very little about the 1980s series, I Googled Teela and discovered that many Masters of the Universe episodes were available for viewing free on the Internet. They were both rapt sitting together in my office chair watching one of the half-hour episodes that involved Teela. We went to Beachcomber Swim Club after lunch because the sun kept peeking out of the dark clouds and teasing us every couple of minutes. The girls went to a painting class after an hour of swimming. After showers and dinner, we curled up in our pajamas in my bed together to watch the Tinker Bell movie that I had recorded on TiVo.

This morning after breakfast, we cleaned out some areas of the basement because the remaining garage sale stuff was being picked up by an organization called “Impact!” which supports the local senior center. We found some real “treasures” from their mother’s and uncle’s days, such as a pogo stick, a book that we had been missing for years, Bonhomme and the Huge Beast, a favorite Minnie Mouse doll, some dollhouse furniture I had made 35 years ago, a few Shel Silverstein books and many other cool books and games. Saul and I spent an hour in the garage after our leftovers had been donated and were finally able to make space for our SUV again. We made it to the swim club by 3:30 p.m., but only stayed for a little over an hour because the sun was even scarcer than yesterday, and we were being eaten by pesky flies and mosquitoes. After dinner this evening, the girls watched another movie in my bed that I had recorded for them on TiVo, The Pagemaster. While I was blogging, I was hearing so many delighted giggles that I interrupted my writing to watch the end of the movie with them. I hope that, as they sing in Annie, “the sun will come out tomorrow,” but we have been having a great time anyway.

A Week with Izzy and Naming Yona

Click here for additional photos.

This past week with Izzy has been positively delightful. During our time together, she helped me each day to prepare some dessert item for Yona’s naming ceremony on Saturday. At one point, Jessica told me she had a dream, or nightmare, that I made gingerbread teddy bears in diapers and used real safety pins in the cookies. I already had been thinking about making gingerbread cookies, but couldn’t figure out what to do that would be appropriate for a baby naming. Her dream spurred me to get out my extensive collection of cookie cutters and among them I found a dove. Yona means dove in Hebrew. Izzy was amazingly adept at every aspect of cookie-making. When I left her so that I could sit at the kitchen table with Mom’s social worker, Marion, and discuss Mom’s condition for a while, Izzy continued to roll out the dough to the proper thickness, cut the cookies close together as I had showed her, move the cutout cookies to the baking pan, and re-roll the scraps—very impressive for a five-year-old. I taught her how to make and thin royal icing to just the right consistencies so that I could outline the doves and she could fill them in with the icing. Friday morning we packed up the cookies, extra icing, food coloring markers, and sugar sprinkles and decors, and drove to Baltimore where Izzy and her sister, Sami, decorated dozens of them, each one with its own unique design. I find it remarkable that never for a minute did either one of them show any signs of running out of ideas for the next cookie or repeat themselves on any one of them.

Izzy awoke early every morning, but played with the toys in her room until a reasonable hour before waking us. We watched a series of On Demand Tom and Jerry cartoons over and over while having breakfast together, usually with Mom joining us. Each day, we arranged to do a little something different and fun. One day, we went to Chuck E. Cheeses for an hour. Another, I set up an Elmo sprinkler on the deck so that she could run in an out of the spraying water. We went to Bahama Breeze where she was crazy about the gigantic stack of coconut-crusted onion rings and the black bean soup. We met Ken and Randi for dinner at the Easton Buffet which had as much sushi as Izzy could eat and where they gave her a little pile of caviar all by itself. We enjoyed teaching her, feeding her, cuddling her, amusing her, and telling her stories as we tucked her into bed. It was truly a wonderful week that culminated in Yona’s naming ceremony. I wish there were more photographs of the occasion, but most of the action took place in synagogue and at Jess and Alex’s home on Shabbat, so no photography was allowed.

Stacey stayed with Mom this past weekend so that we could be in Baltimore. For Shabbat dinner at Jess and Alex’s, we were joined by Alex’s parents, Maury and Elaine; his sister Naomi; his brother Aaron and his wife Stacey and their three children, Jacob, Lilly, and Zach; and Ari. Alex made guacamole, lentil soup, sushi, and fruit salad. After dinner, we went home with Ari.

Saturday morning, we arrived at Chizuk Amuno to find our family looking healthy and beautiful, and ready for Alex’s lively children’s service to begin. Yona was asleep in the stroller. Adele and Larry arrived shortly before we were fetched to go into main sanctuary for the actual naming ceremony, around 10:15 a.m. Ken and Randi arrived with Jamie and Presley just as the ceremony began. We were surprised to find the synagogue so packed with people on a June Shabbat. There were hundreds present. The rabbi had wonderful things to say about our children and it was beautiful to behold them standing together at the bimah.

Maury and Elaine and Saul and I remained to greet people at the kiddush luncheon we had sponsored for the synagogue and gather our friends, David and Karen, who live in Baltimore, and Elaine, who drove down for the occasion, to go back to Jess and Alex’s house for the party. Alex, as usual, outdid himself with the delicious luncheon he had prepared, which included whole fillets of the best salmon anyone had ever tasted, a beautiful tossed salad, hummous, baba ganoush, assorted cheeses, deviled eggs, roasted veggies, pasta salad, and other delicacies in great number. For dessert, I made the gingerbread cookies; ultimate carrot cake; Presley Bella marble angel food cake; mini strawberry cheesecakes; mini filled chocolate cupcakes; Yona Rae cake (a three-layer coconut cake); mini cashew pies; chocolate mousse crepes with vanilla custard sauce; and jumbo oatmeal, peanut butter and raisin cookies.

The weather on Saturday was beautiful and not too hot. Everyone seemed to really enjoy themselves and about 60 people attended. After the party, we headed back to Ari’s place and were too tired and not hungry enough to go out on Saturday night. We wound up watching a hilarious movie together called “Noises Off” from the early 80’s with Michael Caine, Carol Burnett, Christopher Reeve, John Ritter, and other famous actors. I don’t know how I missed seeing it back then, but it certainly had me wondering what other treasures I have missed.

Sunday morning, we helped Ari clean up his condo, packed, and headed out for our usual favorite spot for dim sum, Hollywood East Café, which had just been listed in Washingtonian Magazine as one of the best “cheap eats” in the DC area. We were shocked to find a closed sign in the window and their name signs taken off of the building. The closed sign said that they would be reopening in August in a nearby mall. We ate a satisfying meal at the dim sum restaurant across the street, Good Fortune, which, by the time we left, had filled up with a long line of people waiting for tables who had been as surprised as we were by the closing. We spent the afternoon with Jessica and the kids while Alex watched sports on television after mowing the lawn and assembling a new gazebo (or as Izzy called it, “gazumba”) on the patio. We headed for home around 5 p.m. and arrived about 7:30 p.m., happy, but exhausted.

Mom had a good weekend with Stacey. Her volunteer, Marianne, had stopped in to see her and so had Ken and Randi on Sunday. Adele and Larry had a problem getting home on Saturday, as evidently, the Philadelphia area had had a torrential downpour that left many streets closed, including theirs. After hanging out at a nearby restaurant for a while, they were finally able to reach their home in time for bed as the waters receded.

Stacey requested the day off on Monday to visit with an aunt she had not seen in several years. On Sunday, a gum irritation I was beginning to feel turned into a full-fledged abscess. The dentist cannot work on me until I have been on a strong antibiotic, Clindamycin, for 24 hours. This afternoon, I have a dentist appointment to work on the problem, but I have not been feeling like myself since Sunday. I tried to get work done, but kept getting distracted and losing focus. At 6 p.m. last evening, Saul, Mom and I met with Debbie, the mother of one of Ken’s employees, who will begin working for us on Wednesday.

Many of the remnants of last week’s garage sale are still hanging around the garage and I have to arrange to get them out of here this week. My friend Laura suggested I title one of my blogs “36 Suitcases.” That is how many were listed for tax purposes when we dropped a carload of things at the Salvation Army location nearby. Toward evening yesterday, there was a violent thunderstorm that dropped a load of marble-sized hail on us. I wish the SUV had been in the garage rather than all that junk. Thirty-six suitcases is a great title, but the past week was much larger than that.

Garage Sale Week and Paz B’rina

Click here for additional photos.

This has been an unbelievable week with incredible highs and lows. It started with the most surprising coincidence. Just as we were beginning to discuss getting 24/7 help to deal with Mom, Ken called early on Monday morning to tell us that one of his employees, who has been working for him for four years, told him that he spent the weekend helping to move his mother’s things out of her apartment in Ocean City, NJ, and into his brother’s home. His mother is a trained and certified home health aide who had been laid off from her nursing home job and could not afford to continue to live in a resort town where the rent increases every summer season. Monday evening, Saul, Ken and I spoke with her on the phone. Ken asked her what her ideal job situation would be and she responded that she would like to work from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. because she was used to doing night work. It was hard to keep from jumping for joy. She also told Ken that her biggest fault in her work was that she is a terrible cook. To add to the coincidence, when we asked where in the township she would be moving in with her son, it seems that he lives only five to ten minutes from our house. In addition to that, my mother was devastated when she had to sign the papers to sell her car, her last link to her past of living independently. One of Ken’s employees bought the car from us for his mother—guess who? The car, evidently, will be returning to our driveway. Next weekend, she will be officially moving into the area and we are scheduled to meet with her. The next morning after our conversation, none of us could believe the confluence of events that had occurred to bring all this together. If all goes according to plan, Stacey will be able to continue to work the hours that she wants, and we will have someone to monitor Mom at night and on weekends so that we will be able to sleep peacefully again.

Before our revelatory phone conversation on Monday, my friend Roxy came down from Yardley to shop at Costco and join us for lunch. Adele joined us also and we went to a nearby favorite Japanese restaurant called Miraku. Evidently it has been sold to new owners and while the menu was very similar and the food very good, the prices have gone up considerably. The bento box meal that was similar to the one we were accustomed to ordering ran $14 instead of the usual $10. That evening, Ken and Randi met us for dinner at Cheesecake Factory in Willow Grove where we had a delicious and relaxing dinner. The usual hoards of diners who were always waiting in line there seem to have evaporated since last September’s stock market crash, but perhaps it was only because we were dining on a Monday. Two meals out in one day was pleasantly reminiscent of our lifestyle last spring in the days before hospice, Camp Bubbie and Saba, and the economic meltdown.

Tuesday and Wednesday were spent stair-climbing. Who needs a fancy machine or expensive health club membership when there is so much real work to be done? Beth came over and got a workout as well as we carried shelving, and heavy boxes of all sorts of junk, down from the attic and up from the basement for the garage sale. There is so much that we hardly made a dent. At Aunt Ruth’s suggestion, we put an ad up on Craigslist on Wednesday afternoon in addition to our newpaper ads in the local papers, and within a few hours, a number of dealers were here, knocking at our door, and willing to spend lots of time and money going through our old things. The rain was teeming for two days, but we were able to set up a tent on the driveway (which doubles as our sukkah) to house the overflow from a two-and-a-half-car garage. We consider the sale a great financial success. We earned hundreds of dollars getting rid of things that have languished here for many years, in fact, for so many that we had forgotten we still had them. And many people were thrilled to have some of those things at giveaway prices.

Friday evening, Stacey, Larry and Beth joined us for Shabbat dinner. Ari drove up from DC for the weekend and had dinner much later as well. By then, I could no longer hold my head up and excused myself after saying a brief hello to Ari. For dinner we had homemade challah from the freezer and garlic bread from Costco, smoked turkey split pea soup with matzoh balls, iceberg lettuce wedges with homemade Russian dressing, smoked sliced turkey in giblet gravy from the freezer, black and white rice, fresh berries dipped in individual pots of melted chocolate, and oatmeal, peanut butter and raisin cookies from the freezer.

Sunday was the occasion when we officially welcomed Presley Bella into our family with the Hebrew name, Paz B’rina, at Jamie and Andy’s home in Delaware. The ceremony was designed by Jamie using sources suggested by Jessica and was very dramatic, including the washing of the baby’s feet with a special cup provided for the occasion by Jessica. Saul officiated with the Hebrew blessings and I prepared a certificate marking the occasion that was similar to the one given to Jamie at her naming. The sun finally shone brightly on this most perfect spring day. Their home was filled with all the many children of the next generation of cousins, including my three wonderful granddaughters. Saul and I brought Izzy home with us for the week as she is finished with preschool following her graduation last week. Stacey had stayed overnight on Friday and Saturday to care for Mom and to relieve us from the exhaustion of the garage sale and the preparation for the naming ceremony. She had today off.

I don’t know how I was able to accomplish everything that was done today. I made breakfast for us all, cleaned up the kitchen, made beds, hung up clothes, washed and folded two loads of laundry, consolidated the leftovers from the garage sale, took Izzy next door to play on Beth’s swings, made lunch for us all, including Adele, who came to help out for a few hours, cleaned up the kitchen, read 17 emails and brought my computer work up to date, made seven dozen mini filled chocolate cupcakes and a carrot cake with Izzy for Yona’s naming next Saturday, made dinner for Izzy and Mom while Saul attended a Masonic meeting, spent a half hour telling Izzy a “Bubbie story,” singing lullablies including “Puff the Magic Dragon,” and tucking both her and Mom in for the evening, spoke with Ari on the phone while he was on his way home from work, and last, but not least, wrote this blog post. I hope there is some energy left in me for tomorrow after I get a good night’s sleep!

Shavuot 5769

Click here for additional photos.

I am finding that cleaning out closets and drawers of items unused during the course of the 16 years we have been in this house is very liberating. I have been piling these items onto long tables in the garage while my car gathers tree detritus and pollen out on the driveway. The garage sale ad has been placed in the local papers, so there is no going back now. We are committed! I only hope that there is a person out there for every discarded item.

Wednesday, Adele and Ken both came for lunch with Mom, who was having an unusually good day. She was more alert than usual and was able to stay at the table in her wheelchair for a half hour. I made cheese and veggie omelets for all of us, including Stacey. We really enjoyed the time together. Thursday morning was good for Mom also, but by Thursday evening, she was the worst we have seen so far. Laying in bed, propped up, she was having trouble catching her breath even with the oxygen. We gave her Lorazepam and held her hand until she fell asleep. We tried gently to awaken her to eat dinner, but decided in the end to allow her to continue sleeping.

Laura called Thursday to say that she and Marc would not be able to join us for Shabbat dinner. Her daughter had begged her to babysit Friday evening so that she and her husband could prepare for their daughter Lily’s birthday party this weekend. When we called Jay to find out if he would still be joining us, we found that he would. Laura met us for lunch instead, picking me up so that we could meet Saul after his physical therapy at Pho Thai Nam. She was getting over a bad cold, and a large, steaming bowl of noodle soup made her feel a little better. I started preparing early for dinner because I knew we would be in synagogue all of Friday morning for Shavuot services. I made and Saul filled frozen chocolate mousse crepes in preparation for Yona’s baby-naming. I also made a batch of cheese blintzes, our traditional dairy food for this festival. I prepared a big batch of Israeli salad for dinner as well.

Stacey came early on Friday morning so that we could attend services. All the previous rancor that had occurred seemed to be absent from the sanctuary. I was pleasantly surprised to find the atmosphere as warm and spiritual as usual, perhaps because those who had come to worship have a desire to try to keep it that way and put political differences aside during sacred times. Rabbi Addison’s sermon brought tears to my eyes as he used the story of Ruth and Naomi to illustrate how, in divisive times, strong, understanding, and kind leaders, such as Boaz, can change the tenor of people’s interrelationships and bring about positive changes in society. Boaz, although a very powerful and rich man, treats his farm workers and poorer relatives as respected equals. He and Ruth eventually become the great-grandparents of King David from whose offspring a messiah is expected to emerge who will eventually bring about a peaceful and just world.

After services, we rushed home so that I could prepare the dough for my challah to give it enough time to rise before dinner. Since Pesach, there have been practically no backup loaves in the freezer. Beth and Paul joined us, along with Jay for dinner. Larry called from the road about 6 p.m. to say that he had just landed from Egypt and he wound up joining us for dinner a little late. Paul came late also. After we recited the usual blessing over the wine, I again found myself with tears in my eyes. Jay asked Saul and me to join hands. Then he recited the Eshet Chayil verse (A Woman of Valor) from memory that he would recite for Sandy, of blessed memory, on Friday evenings. I told him that Jessica’s father-in-law, Maury, recites it to his wife, Elaine, every Friday evening as well. For dinner, we had chestnut soup, Israeli salad, guacamole, corn-on-the-cob, cod lamaize, blintzes with sliced strawberries and sour cream, and kippered smoked salmon. As it turned out, we had leftover filling from the blintzes and leftover crepes from the chocolate mousse crepes. The serendipity of the situation caused us to invent a new dessert, chocolate blintzolis, a cross between a blintz and a cannoli. We added chocolate chips and Curaçao to the ricotta filling, rolled it up in the chocolate crepe blintz-style, brushed it with melted butter, and baked it until puffy. Because I wasn’t sure how they would turn out, I also made a batch of Roy’s hot chocolate soufflé in custard cups. We definitely had chocolate overkill for dessert with coffee, because both desserts were irresistible. Larry regaled us with tales of his tours of Egypt and Jordan while Jay reminisced about his journeys there with Sandy. Ari had Shabbat dinner with Jess and Alex in Baltimore. Mom was very testy right before dinner. First, she gave me a hard time because she wanted her breakfast immediately. Then she gave Beth a hard time about coming to the table. She also refused Saul’s attempts to bring her to dinner. Finally, after waiting a few minutes, Beth and I together convinced her to come to the table. She participated in the blessings pleasantly, had a few spoonfuls of soup and within about 15 minutes insisted on going back to bed. She apparently went right to sleep as we were monitoring her from the kitchen. We decided, before we went to bed, that she was sleeping soundly and we did not wake her to take out her teeth as usual.

In the morning, as we were preparing to go to synagogue, I went into her room to empty her commode into her toilet. Of all days, the toilet clogged so badly that I was not able to free it with 20 minutes of plunging. Saul finally came to my aid with a plumbing snake and was able to free the smelly clog. By the time Stacey arrived, I was somehow able to hurriedly shower, dress, and down a little breakfast, and we weren’t unusually late for services and yizkor (the communal prayer of remembrance for our loved ones which takes place four times a year).

Rabbi’s sermon on the second day of Shavuot dealt with Moses’ breaking of the Ten Commandments on viewing the sin of the golden calf. In one interpretation, God was pleased with Moses for destroying these most valuable objects because Moses, himself, had made a wise decision about ethical behavior and thereby created a great and memorable example to the people about choosing to act in a responsible and ethical manner. This shocking act roused and sobered the community from their revelry and prepared them for the responsibility of receiving the second set of the Commandments, which enjoins each individual to choose a just and righteous path to create a benevolent society where each individual has certain responsibilities toward the well-being of his fellow man, a reminder, I am sure, to the congregation to act individually in ways that will promote harmony and constructive behavior in these difficult economic times.

We decided not to linger over the lunch provided by the congregation, and when we arrived home around 1:15 p.m., Adele was here with Stacey. We persuaded Mom to be wheeled out for a few minutes to join us and had a lunch of leftovers together. Adele left shortly after that and Saul went to take a nap while I finished cleaning up the kitchen and Stacey sat with Mom. An hour later, Stacey came to find me just as I was dozing off because Mom was so agitated and feeling so terrible. I gave her the Lorazepam and sat with her for a few minutes. After a few minutes, Mom sent me off to take a nap also and Saul woke up and sent Stacey home about 5:15 p.m. Mom asked Saul if he would sit with her, so he put his laptop on her desk. Shortly afterward, when she needed to use the commode, he got up to leave, but she pleaded with him to stay and just look the other way. He heard a crash as she struggled out of bed and ran to catch her as she fell against her night table, doing some further injury to his shoulder. When he asked her to lean forward to get back into bed, she was so out of it that she leaned backward. He was able to get her back into bed unharmed and by then, she had forgotten about using the commode. Around 8 p.m., we went in to see about waking her for dinner, but again, she did not wake up to our gentle calling and we decided to let her sleep. Last night, I removed unused items from my bathroom closet and from under the sink of my bedroom vanity where I had stored things I forgot I ever owned for the garage sale. In cleaning out, I found our “bed buddy,” a years-old bean bag sort of heating pad that is warmed in the microwave. Saul found it invaluable for treating the ache in his shoulder, much better than the standard heating pad he had been using.

This morning, when Saul went into Mom’s room to see if she wanted to join us at breakfast, she was so confused that I heard him on the monitor explaining to her that her daughter Marilyn would be at the table. By the time I dressed and went to wheel her into the kitchen, she was better, but only stayed long enough to down a few bites before requesting to be wheeled back to her bed. When Adele arrived to visit Mom, we put in a call to our brother to discuss hiring another person besides Stacey so that we can have 24/7 coverage for Mom. The long haul we have had caring for Mom (she has been on hospice since September 1) has really begun to take its toll on all of us, including Mom. The cost of caring for her at home with 24/7 help will now probably begin to almost equal the cost of caring for her in a nursing facility, which her social worker Marion tells me is about $8,000 per month. We all feel that we have more control over her care if she remains at home, an option with which she has always been more comfortable as well and the reason that together we built this handicapped-accessible home in the first place.

Today was another bad day for Mom. Stacey was off, and in the afternoon, immediately after Adele left, she began calling for us every five to ten minutes to cover her, to tell us she had a stomach ache, to ask us to put her gloves on her hands which are like a favorite teddy bear is to a child. After an hour, again we had to resort to giving her medication to help her get to sleep and quiet her agitation. Even with all the support, and the fact that there are two of us at home almost full time taking care of her, the job of seeing her through all this is beginning to seem insurmountable. Tomorrow, the task begins of trying to find a suitable person to cover the times when Stacey will be away. Mom keeps asking us, in her bad but lucid moments, “how much longer can I live like this?” We are all really beginning to wonder how long we can keep this up.

Yona, G.G.’s and Beachcombers

Click here for additional photos.

I am beginning to worry that if I do not get up and blog in the middle of the night, I will not be able to keep up with writing about my life and my recipes.

Wednesday, while Saul had an MRI of his painful shoulders and then went to physical therapy, I cleaned the house, watered the garden, caught up with laundry, made Israeli salad, and began preparations for Jessica and the three girls to visit with a trip to Costco.

Thursday, I roasted a 25-lb. turkey on the Weber grill with lots of dried herbs from last year’s garden among the hardwood charcoal. Under the skin, was sliced elephant garlic and fresh pineapple sage leaves from this year’s garden. My two granddaughters are so opposite in their tastes that turkey is just about the only food they both like. Then, Saul and I decided to catch a 1:15 p.m. matinee at the IMAX theatre in King of Prussia. We caught the last day at the IMAX of the new Star Trek movie, by fortunate coincidence. We had great seats in the middle. The movie was enjoyable, but like all the big action movies lately, there was really no logical plot. If Hollywood is going to spend all those millions of dollars producing a visually stunning and imaginative blockbuster, can’t they at least afford some writer to come up with a good story line? The ghost of Gene Roddenberry in outer space must be turning over in his zero gravity environment. After the movie, we used up a $10 Internet coupon for a late lunch (or early dinner) at Bahama Breeze; and since we were on the same parking lot with Nordstrum Rack, we spent a half hour shopping as well.

My beloved leather handbag that I bought in Beijing’s Silk Market two years ago has begun to fall apart and I needed a bag for the summer. I found this one absolutely perfect large orchid leather Coach bag as soon as I walked into the store. It was reduced over $150 dollars from the original price, but was still very expensive. I decided that if I found shoes to go with it, that would be a sign that I was meant to buy it. I didn’t really think I would find orchid shoes, but sure enough, I found a great pair of Puma flats on sale that were white and dusty pink with a little trim of bright yellow. Close enough! I went back and bought the bag, the most expensive I have ever owned! It was really a fun day, and I don’t feel too guilty because I carry my handbags for years. When we returned, I made gravy and began to carve the warm turkey. It was falling apart as I was slicing, so we put it in the refrigerator to firm it up for slicing the following day.

I was up at 3:00 a.m. on Friday. I knew that Ari’s plane was due to land in Moscow around then and the part of his trip that was most worrisome to me was his landing and taking a subway to the hotel. At five I began to worry and Saul was annoyed at me with all my justifications of why I should be worried. At six, I convinced him to get out of bed to Skype our cousin Mark in Israel who only speaks Hebrew and Russian to find out the number of hours from airport to hotel by subway. Just as Saul sat down at the computer, Ari’s email arrived telling us that he was at his hotel and everything was fine. Within five minutes, we were Skyping with Ari and sharing the panoramic view from his window and taking a 360° tour of his suite at the impressive Swissotel in Moscow. After our conversation, I went out and planted a row of marigolds along the front of the garden. I showered off the dirt and Saul and I went out for lunch at a favorite nearby mom-and-pop Thai restaurant, Pho Thai Nam. Before dinner, we had this amazing technological experience of speaking with Ari live on Skype while, at the same time, viewing his day’s photographs in Picasa while he described them to us.

Only Faith joined us for Shabbat dinner this week. Larry is still in Jordan. We had defrosted homemade challah and garlic bread, butternut squash soup from Trader Joe’s, guacamole with pretzel chips, sliced turkey in gravy, black and white rice, Israeli salad, cranberry apple chutney, jumbo oatmeal peanut butter and raisin cookies, and strawberries dipped in individual pots of melted chocolate.

Saturday morning, Ken and Randi came with Randi’s sister Sheri to stay with Mom so that we could meet Jessica at Lion’s Gate to introduce Yona to her great-grandmother. Sima’s feet and ankles were very swollen, but she seemed really delighted to see all of us. After a half-hour visit, she wandered off from us into another patient’s bedroom to use the bathroom and seemed to forget that we were there. We had to go and find her a few minutes later when it was time to say goodbye.

When we all arrived back home, my mother was equally happy to meet Yona and see Sami and Izzy again. Both girls were very happy to have sliced smoked turkey for dinner with the black and white rice. They watched television, played with their toys, and were tucked into bed with a Shmuel story from their grandfather.

Sunday morning after breakfast, the girls went next door to play on Beth’s recently refurbished swing set. Saul and I set about gathering together everything we needed for an afternoon at the pool. Beachcomber Swim Club has been purchased by a new owner this year who made much-needed improvements, and it was an absolutely delightful experience to revisit those golden days of last summer when we frequently sat by the pool and watched delightedly as the girls enjoyed themselves swimming, doing arts and crafts, playing on the playground, or having their faces painted. Stacey had the weekend off and Jessica had chosen to stay behind with Mom and Yona, although I offered to stay with Mom instead. They spent the afternoon in Mom’s bedroom watching old movies, and Mom had a chance to spend a few quality hours with her new great-granddaughter. We were all exhausted after a day in the sun, so after a light dinner of “fishy burgers,” which Izzy requested, and which they both like, we took a 2-hour nap. Around 7 p.m., we headed out for the merry-go-round at Plymouth Meeting Mall, but found the mall closed. Amidst distant lightening strikes and gathering dark clouds of a looming thunderstorm, we attempted to salvage the evening with a visit to Freddy Hill for ice cream. Sami and I got a little wet running to the door. Saul got very wet gallantly retrieving an umbrella from the trunk because Izzy refused to get out of the car without one. The girls went right to sleep, again with a Shmuel story, when we arrived home at about 9:30 p.m.

To our disappointment, Jessica decided to head home early on Monday to avoid the heavy Memorial Day traffic. We understood. Alex had stayed home because the new puppy, Inky, has been chewing up furniture and shoes when left to her own devices and a dog sitter would not have sufficed. Jessica is a trooper when it comes to heading out on her own, but knowing she was travelling at the height of Memorial Day traffic would have worried us all. Every spare minute this week has been spent preparing for an imminent garage sale, so Saul and I spent the rest of Monday cleaning out 16 years of accumulated stuff in our large office closet. When we finished, among other things, we had a carton with over 1200 floppy disks, the accumulation of 22 years in the desktop publishing business. We checked on the Net about recycling them, but found out from our waste disposal company that they are not truly recyclable and can just be put out with the trash. Among them was the first floppy disk I had ever made. The office looks wonderful and neat now, and there is lots of room in the closet! I also got rid of bags of multiple copies of samples of work I have done. When I started my business, there was talk of a paperless society. I used to scoff at that in the beginning because my work generated reams and reams of paper. With the advent of the universal use of the Internet, email, and the cross-platform nature of today’s software, I truly have become almost paperless now.

Jessica called to take me up on my offer to make desserts for Yona’s baby-naming on June 13, so I will be busy in the kitchen for a while. Although Beth liked the original logo I designed for her new business, everyone thought the gyroscope design she had envisioned, and that I had executed, was too complicated. Another, simpler logo was designed by Haley in PowerPoint and needed to be made into a vector graphic. I had done this for Beth last week, but ran into a complication when we shrunk it down to business card size. Then, a simple job became very complicated as I attempted to create a special effect that would not cross platforms to pdf. I spent four hours trying every way I could to make it work. In the end, I went back to the original design and modified it to look better when miniaturized. The moral of the story is: use the KISS method—Keep It Simple, Stupid!

I am looking forward to the end of the week and the holiday of Shavuot which celebrates the giving of the Torah, including the Ten Commandments, to the Jewish people. I hope that people will put their differences aside and that the atmosphere in the synagogue will be as warm and spiritual as it has been in the past. I guess where my psyche is concerned, hope springs eternal. Larry will be back from his journeys with lots of stories. I was finally able, over a month ago, to make a date with my friends, Jay, Laura, and Marc to come to Shabbat dinner this week. I hope it is not cancelled. It may take a year to schedule another one.

I am really thankful for incredible blessings this week. Jessica came and went safely. Ari had a remarkable trip to Moscow and, hopefully, will prepare a guest blog as soon as he recovers from the jet lag. My granddaughters are healthy and beautiful. What more could anyone ask?

Thursday Meltdown… and the Refreeze

If you read my friend, and fellow congregant Elaine’s comment on the last blog post, you may notice that some of my worst fears were realized at the very well-attended congregational meeting on Thursday evening.

We arose early on Thursday morning. We had arranged for Stacey to stay with Mom from 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. so that we could accomplish all of our errands together and attend the evening meeting that would decide whether the congregation would continue in its traditional home or move on to more handicapped-accessible quarters. When Stacey arrived, we went to get a haircut for Saul, pick up some items from Costco, and rush home in time to change clothes and rush out again to Naomi Taplar’s funeral, which was being held at Temple Sinai, our old congregation. We had not been back to Temple Sinai for almost three years and it was a very emotional experience being warmly welcomed by some of our old friends and ignored by others. Naomi Taplar, who was 78, died a few weeks after suffering a stroke. She had been a fellow religious school teacher at Temple Sinai for twenty-five years. Before that, she had also taught religious school classes at two other area synagogues. In the past year, she had been in an assisted living community near her daughter in New Jersey. She was a kind, friendly and learned teacher with an incredible intellect and love of education. She enjoyed being among people and learning from them, and she was a great friend and colleague. Many people attended her funeral and Rabbi Wohlberg did an excellent job in delivering a eulogy that conveyed not only the details of her life, but the essence of her spirit. When we arrived, we learned that she was being interred at the same cemetery where Saul’s father is buried, Mt. Sharon in Springfield. We decided, since Stacey was covering Mom anyway, to attend the burial service as well, driving our friend Faith the considerable distance. It had been pouring all day, and I really hate burials in rainstorms and snowstorms, but the sun came out about 10 minutes before we arrived at the cemetery, and stayed until we had visited Saul’s father’s grave. As it turned out, Naomi is buried only about 30 yards away from his grave and we were able, in just a few steps, to make sure that her grave had been filled in properly before we left. Rabbi Wohlberg and Cantor Friedman did a considerable amount of shoveling to make sure at least the coffin was covered before they left. Saul felt badly that he was not able to shovel because of his shoulder problems.

We drove back to Temple Sinai where the first shiva was being held, had a bite to eat, and offered condolences to the family. By the time we arrived back at home to change our clothes, it was 5:00 p.m. Our friends, Jerry and Betty, were joining us at 6:30 for the drive down to Melrose B’nai Israel-Emanu El. Rabbi Addison and Cantor Gordon tried to get the meeting started on a relaxed and peaceful note by asking the congregation to join them in singing “Le ma’an achai v’reay,” “For the Sake of My Brothers and Friends.” It was a valiant try, but after a presentation of both sides of the argument, the congregation slowly dissolved into an obnoxious, rude group as individual members came up to speak about their views. Saul spoke of his background with congregations as a child in Israel, and as a new immigrant to the United States. He stressed that the people are what make a congregation special, not their surroundings, but I began to get teary as he spoke, realizing that his eloquent comments were falling on deaf ears for the most part. As people became ruder and shouting became louder, the vote was called at 10:00 p.m., the time I had arranged with Stacey to be home. As I waited in line with Saul to receive my ballot, the teary eyes became a full-scale meltdown and I ran from the building in embarrassment, unable to control my emotions. I waited in the car for another half hour while Saul filled in my ballot as well as his and waited with Betty and Jerry to hear the outcome of the voting. In a relatively close vote, the congregation had voted to stay in the building.

We called Stacey as we were leaving in a thunderstorm downpour so heavy we could barely see out the window to apologize and let her know how late we would be coming home. Luckily, she has been wonderful and flexible about her hours.

I kept myself extremely busy on Friday, cooking, cleaning, and gardening, to keep from thinking about the previous evening’s discord, and, for the most part, it worked. Ari drove up from DC on Friday evening, stopping to have Shabbat dinner with Jess and Alex and holding our new baby Yona. Saul and I were so tired that we were unable to stay awake until he arrived a little after 11:00 p.m. Groggily, I woke Saul after thinking I had been asleep for only a few minutes. He looked at the clock and told me it was 11:15, so I told him to call Ari to find out his ETA. Unfortunately, Saul sees double without his glasses. It was actually 1:15 a.m. and we awoke Ari in another bedroom only to find out he had arrived two hours earlier. He forgave us in the morning. I could not face going to services on Saturday morning and we spent the time with Ari enjoying his company.

Only Beth joined us for Shabbat dinner this week as Larry is still in Egypt and Jordan. I took most of dinner from the freezer, including homemade challah, chicken soup, matzoh balls and dumplings, charcoal-grilled hamburgers, hot dogs, and Moroccan sausage, and Jumbo Oatmeal Peanut Butter and Raisin Cookies. I filled in with homemade guacamole with pretzel chips, and sliced tomatoes and onion. Mom joined us for a little bit of chicken soup, but did not stay at the table for more than a few minutes.

Saturday evening, Beth and Paul hosted us for dinner on Beth’s deck. Ari helped bring heavy boxes down from the attic for a garage sale we intend to have in a few weeks. We have an enormous amount of vintage clothing in the attic and we sorted through and washed some of it to take to try to sell at a store downtown about which Ari heard from his friends, Matt and Deb, called Buffalo Exchange. We used the errand as an excuse to enjoy a dim sum brunch in Chinatown. I was pleased that the store took about half the two dozen items I had brought, and most of the rejections were because the items were unseasonal. I really brought an assortment, not knowing what types of outfits or decades would be appealing. As it turned out, the $25 cash I was paid was just enough to cover the dim sum, so it would be necessary to find some other outlet for the vintage clothing. When we returned home, Saul found that outlet on the Internet—a site called Sazz Vintage Clothing that was willing to come and pay us to pick up all our clothing, and they did. Whatever they take that is not saleable will be donated to charities in the area and that makes us very happy. Beth and Paul joined us for dim sum. Paul was a dim sum virgin until now, not even knowing what it is. I think he liked it.

Ari headed back to DC early Sunday evening with a large pile of his freshly laundered and folded clothing that we had finished over the weekend in my larger washer and dryer. After a fews days of work, he will be leaving for his Memorial Day visit to Moscow.

Monday evening, we met Ken and Randi for appetizers and salads at Bonefish Grill in Willow Grove and caravaned back to our house for their visit with Mom. Tuesday, we met with a landscaper and a painter. Since Saul is in physical therapy for the pain in his shoulders and cannot help with the landscaping, and since I am beginning to feel my grandmotherly age and am afraid of doing damage to myself, we decided to break down and pay to have someone else dig, edge, plant, and move wheelbarrows full of mulch. We did our own masterful job of potting and arranging plants on our deck and gazebo, though. We are waiting to place the last planter of flowers into the arbor outside Mom’s room because a robin red-breast is nesting there. The egg just hatched, and we are waiting until the fledgling leaves the nest.

Mom has become noticeably more confused this week, perhaps because of the Lorazepam we have been giving her daily to quell her evening bouts of anxiety. Adele has been in and out visiting for most of the week and finds this dementia very disturbing as she feels she is practically a clone of Mom and fears that she might wind up in the same state. I just keep trying to reassure her that, while Mom would surely have preferred not to be a burden, there are many other more unpleasant ways to die. Most of the time, Mom is pleasant and looks extremely peaceful when she is asleep. Everyone has commented how relaxed and unlined her face has become. Losing your memory and developing Alzheimer’s is not usually a sudden, lightening-strike type of debilitation. Who is to say at what point along this continuum, on which day, the mind has become so bad that life is no longer worth living? Of course, none of us want to contemplate our end or the loss of our vitality in old age, but these problems arise from living through to the blessing of a full life. How much more unlucky many of us are to be cut down at an early age!

Like ice cream that has melted and refrozen, I feel the loss of some of the flavor and texture of my life this week. The ice cream can still be eaten and enjoyed after it melts down and has been refrozen. I can continue to enjoy partaking, but I fear it will never taste quite the same.